After the War
by Zinnia QueenOfChaos
Summary: Harry Potter is back in Hogwarts for his 7th (8th year) year. It's going to be a long story as we find out how the war has changed Draco Malfoy and Harry himself. Things are changing between them. I don't own the characters (J.K. Rowling does etc.) Warnings: Mature Adult content, gay sex etc.
1. Changes come

After the war

Chapter 1 Changes come; life will have its way

Harry, Ron and Hermione were entering the Great Hall once again. This time it was for their 8th year in Hogwarts, because they hadn't been in school last year, and they still hadn't taken their NEWTs. Harry and the current Headmaster of Hogwarts, McGonagall, had been sending owls during the summer so Harry was well informed of what the new school year would be about. Mostly the correspondence between them had been discussions about the so called inter-house activity. Basically it meant the different houses in Hogwarts wouldn't be taken as seriously anymore and the friendship between different houses would be encouraged. It was time to learn from the past and not to simply forget the war, which was over now, but instead, to make sure things would change for good.  
McGonagall and all the teachers in Hogwarts shared the same opinion: if the students could all get along better in school, maybe they wouldn't have to face each other in the opposite sides in a war, if there ever came one. Harry thought it meant something like "Let's all be friends, love thy enemy" or something else just as ridiculous, but after Harry had been thinking about everything McGonagall had said over the summer, he slowly started to see a bigger picture. It might just work. At least it was an attempt to do something and not just forget about all the lives that were lost during the war.

Of course McGonagall had been sharing this information with Harry because she wanted Harry to give a speech on the first dinner of the new school year. So that Harry would encourage the inter-house activity and would set an example to the students of Hogwarts. Harry of course hadn't been keen to the idea, but Hermione had convinced him that it was the right thing to do. Hermione was certain that things like inter-house friendliness would perhaps change the future in the long run. At least it would be a step for the right direction and every effort counted.  
Harry had been thinking over and over again whether he should give a speech or not. He didn't want to – and yet, just like everything else, it seemed like a responsibility of his. Maybe it really was for the best. At least he would have a chance to speak to all students in the hopes that it would calm the students down a bit, Harry knew there would be a lot of gossiping and talking behind his back this year. Everyone wanted the hero and no-one knew how much Harry hated carrying this role on his shoulders. How much Harry felt responsible for all those deaths. He knew it wasn't his fault but it still didn't take away the feeling of guilt.

So as they sat in the Gryffindor table for the first time on their new school year, Harry scanned through the Great Hall. It was no surprise that there were only a few Slytherins at the Slytherin table and he was surprised to see Draco Malfoy there, sitting next to Blaise Zabini. Harry swallowed painfully, anticipating the moment he would have to give his speech. McGonagall tapped her spoon against a glass, everyone fell silent and watched her as she started to give her speech.

"Good evening, dear students. I am glad to see you all here tonight.  
The war is over and Hogwarts has been rebuilt into a new castle which still remains to carry a huge part of its former history with it. Most of the things here in Hogwarts will go on as before, but there are many things that are going to change from now on.  
I hope that all the old students will listen to me carefully 'since these changes are going to start right away.  
First of all, although the rebuild lasted for the whole summer, there are still plenty of areas here in Hogwarts that are not complete. Therefor the 7th and 8th year students will have to stay here after dinner, so you will be informed of your new accommodation arrangements.  
The first year students won't be given houses this year at all, 'since from now on the sorting will happen in the beginning of the second year."

People were gasping and whispering at this point, Harry kept his eyes on McGonagall.

"Silence, please! The most important change this year will be the inter-house activity that will take place. I am certain that we need to increase the friendliness between different houses in order to make our future better. This inter-house friendship will be encouraged in several ways.  
One of the biggest changes is that two different houses will be united as one when it comes to accommodation. From now on Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs will be sharing a common room area. Also the bedrooms of the students have been already randomly chosen so that there will be members of both houses in the bedrooms. I call this shuffling. We've also shuffled Slytherins and Gryffindors, there will be a shared common room area and bedrooms will be shared by randomly chosen students from both houses. "

Now the students were gasping, whispering furiously and someone even yelled, "You can't do that!", "I won't sleep in the same room with any Slytherins!"

McGonagall carried on, "I definitely can, I assure you. I know that most of you are in shock right now about all these changes, but I hope that you will learn the benefits from these arrangements and that the bullying and hostility between the houses will be diminished. There are a couple of more things… Quiet, please!  
There are a couple of more things.  
There will also be new arrangements considering Quiddich, but that will be informed later on.  
As the old students have probably noticed and guessed, there are new parts in Hogwarts, both indoors and outdoors. Those you will receive information about, and you will all be given a set of the rules of Hogwarts. There are changes in the school rules this year so read them carefully.  
And now, finally, I think we all would like to hear a speech from a student.  
Would Mr. Harry Potter come up here and give a speech. Mr. Potter, would you be so kind…"

Harry rose from his seat, unsure of whether he should go to the teacher's stand or stay where he was, he decided to stay and relied on that his voice would carry. He needn't worry about that because Hermione already got her wand out and quietly cast a _sonorus _charm. Harry clutched his fingers around the paper he had in his pocket, it was the speech he had planned but now he felt like he couldn't pull it out because his hands would shake, and he simply decided to say aloud everything he remembered thinking before.

"Hi everyone... I'm Harry and most of you probably know me already. I'm not good at giving speeches and when McGonagall suggested that I should give a speech, I thought that.. I thought that I wouldn't do it. But then I decided to tell you guys something about myself so that you wouldn't be making the same mistake I did."

He took a deep breath and noticed he was relaxing although the next lines would be too personal to be said aloud, but he needed to say those things, 'cause he'd been thinking it the whole summer.

"I will tell you a short version of something that's happened. When I was eleven I met a wizard boy who offered me his friendship. I didn't accept and there were more than one reason for why not, but.. anyways, we became something like enemies instead…"

Harry tried to keep his eyes in the opposite wall and not get distracted by the whisperings and the heads, which turned to where Malfoy was sitting and Harry acknowledged that Malfoy would probably use sectumsempra on Harry after this, but it was too late to stop now.

"He was a Slytherin of course and I was thinking that he was my enemy, until one day during the war I noticed that I had been wrong about him. He… he saved my life.  
After the war was over, I started to think about the years that we had been hating each other and I suddenly realized a lot of things. I realized that I had judged him already when I didn't know him and people should never judge each other if they don't know each other well enough to do so. Well, anyway, I saw recently this very weird dream where him and I were dead…"

People were muttering, horrified by the word 'dead', but Harry couldn't stop now.

"..and we were in a place that resembled King's Cross and we started talking, like we were friends, and we were talking about some events that really have happened in the past and we were wondering why we had been hating each other, because now that we were dead, we wouldn't have the chance to try to be friends anymore.  
It was a weird dream, like I said, but when I woke up I thought that the things we had been saying in the dream were actually true.  
I still don't know that boy very well but next time I see him, I will offer my friendship to him and do my best to learn to know him, to see who he is as a person.  
The reason I wanted to share all of this with you was, that I'm certain that if there had been inter-house activity during my former school years, I probably would've gotten to know him better before. I think that the inter-house activity could've helped us learn to know each other and maybe we could've ended up as friends, who knows. This is why I will be doing my best to support these inter-house things, and I hope that all of you will be doing the same thing.  
Give each other a chance to know each other instead of hating someone on a principle. It really doesn't matter which house they belong to. We've all had enough suffering last year, all we can do is try to do our best to not let it happen again in the future. Thank you."

Everyone had fallen silent when Harry finished. He had no idea how long he had been talking and he realized his speech had been a horrible one. Maybe people would hate him after this. He shouldn't have done this. Then came the applauds and whistling and shouting, "Great, Harry!"

Harry sat down and took a glance at the slytherin table. For once Draco Malfoy seemed frozen, he blinked his eyes but remained otherwise passive, not looking furious, not hexing him, but instead just looking. Maybe he hadn't even realized that Harry was talking about him. No, of course Malfoy knew Harry was talking about him, he had to know. Everyone knew who Harry was talking about although Harry hoped that they wouldn't.

"Ahem. Thank you Mr. Potter for your.. unique speech. I would like all the 7th and 8th year students to stay here after dinner. And now… let's eat!"

The food appeared on the table and Ron was eagerly filling up his plate. Hermione smiled at Harry and told him he had a good point. Ron wasn't too happy,  
"Why the hell did you say you're going to offer your friendship to the ferret?"

Harry shrugged, "Because I plan to do so. I told you I'm going to do it, and I am sticking with my plan. He saved my life, I simply can't hate him after that. I'm going to do my best to get to know him and see if we can stand each other or whether I will start hating him again."

Hermione nodded and agreed to do the same. She kept on talking about how the inter-house project would do a lot of good to everyone. Almost like she believed that this would suddenly change everything.

"I'm just trying to do the right thing." Harry said in between the mouthfuls of shepherd's pie.

After dinner all except the 7th and 8th year student left the Great Hall and McGonagall came to them and started giving them more information and organizing them into groups before they left to find their new rooms.

It was extremely weird. Instead of rooms they actually got tents because the 8th year dormitories were still under construction. What was horrifying was that when they arrived to the room where the boys tents were, one of tents had a sign which said simply "Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy".

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed: "Harry, he's going to kill you!"

"Oh bloody hell!" Ron yelled again when he turned around and noticed he was sharing a tent with no other than Blaise Zabini. "Harry, I can't take this, I can't believe this! Tell me this is a nightmare and please wake me up fast!"

Ron even pinched himself and made a face of disgust mixed with fear. Harry was staring at Ron and couldn't form a sentence. His brain was shouting that this couldn't be a coincidence, this was not fair, McGonagall had probably decided the pairs for the tents. Suddenly Harry really didn't want to see Malfoy at all, he would rather put on his invisibility cloak and vanish.

"Ron," he finally sighed, "Let's just do our best, act like adults and so forth…"

Yet he gulped for some reason. The idea of offering a hand of friendship to Malfoy seemed impossible, why on earth had he said something like that.

The door opened and in came all the slytherins. Most of them looked annoyed when they found out who they were sharing their tents with. Draco Malfoy simply walked right past Harry and stepped inside their tent.

Harry swallowed and looked at Ron, they shared a similar expression on their faces. Disbelief and something that resembled fear.

Harry sighed and whispered to Ron, "I'll go and find out if he's ready to kill me now."

Ron nodded and turned to go to his tent.

When Harry entered the tent, he was once again surprised at the size of it. It was huge, as huge as the boys former dormitory, and all the space just for two people. He also noticed that all the noise had gone quiet and realized that this tent had been given a silencing spell, so it felt like a real solid room. Malfoy was standing his back to Harry and was unpacking his things on the bed. The other bed, which would of course be Harry's, was on the other side of the room from Malfoy's. And luckily not very far from the door.

There was a cupboard on the same wall as Harry's bed. There were two study tables, and two smaller night tables between the two beds and in the middle of the room there was a huge couch. On the opposite wall of the couch there was a fire place, and it was lit. There were two doors, one next to the fireplace and one on the other side of the fireplace. Harry walked straight to the first door and opened it. It was a huge bathroom with shower and everything and there was another door inside the bathroom. He went in and opened the second door. When he stepped inside, the dark room suddenly burst into light and he was standing beside a small pool. "Wow" he said to himself. The ceiling was charmed to resemble the sky, just like in Great Hall, but this sky was full of sunshine and just one little white cloud. He left the room and went back to the biggest room and said to Malfoy, "We have a pool."

Malfoy didn't answer but Harry saw that his shoulders went tense. Harry stood still for a minute and asked,

"Malfoy, can we talk?"

At that Malfoy turned around. He looked at Harry with a calm, cold face, nothing to be read from the grey eyes. He slowly put his hand inside the pocket of his robes and very slowly pulled out his wand. Harry didn't panic although his brain was screaming for him to pull out his own wand.

Then Malfoy slowly aimed his wand at the wall, right between the two study tables and whispered something. A beam of light shot from his wand and when it hit the wall there was a small "whoosh" sound and something that looked like glass appeared right in the middle of the room. It was almost invisible, but it could still be seen, it wore a hint of baby blue colour and it cut right through the couch and the fireplace and finally it stopped moving and stayed where it was. The almost invisible material had cut the whole room into two separate sections. Harry was on the other side and Malfoy on the other.

"What is that? What are you doing?" Harry asked Malfoy. Malfoy didn't look at him but went back to his bed and continued to unpack.

"Malfoy! Explain to me right now. What is this?" Harry almost yelled, although he did his best to keep a calm voice. Malfoy didn't answer. Harry took a step closer to the weird material and touched it. It had turned into a solid material, felt like plastic.

"You can't do this!" At this point Malfoy turned to look at him and stared at Harry, who's voice was shouting now, "You can't just cut the room into two sections! This doesn't solve anything! I'm sorry if I offended you in some way but I have no idea why you're reacting like that! Can you just explain to me…"

Before Harry could go on, Draco opened his mouth and talked. Harry frowned, because he couldn't hear what Malfoy was saying. Automatically he said, "What?"

And then he read Malfoy's lips, they were clearly saying 'I can't hear you'. It was true, Harry couldn't hear Malfoy's voice either. So the nearly invisible wall between them was also soundproof. Great, Harry thought and then swallowed the frustration he was feeling, taking a slow calming breath and articulated very clearly his next word, "Don't."

But Malfoy turned away and continued unpacking until he found his notebook and a quill, bend over and started writing. Harry was standing in the same spot and punched his fist in the invisible wall, but Draco didn't look up so Harry assumed Draco couldn't hear that either. Then the blond devil straightened himself up and walked right up to the other side of the wall and looked at Harry. They were merely inches apart but the wall was there, how frustrating was that. Malfoy had a paper in his hand and he slowly lifted it so that Harry could see it.

The letters looked angry and the note said,

_I'm speechless. I've never hated anyone this much in my life. I should have given you to the Dark Lord when I had the chance. Do me a favor and kill yourself._

Harry looked up from the note and stared Draco in the eyes. The grey eyes held the gaze but seemed totally ignorant, no emotions, nothing at all. It didn't even look like hatred, it simply looked like ignorance. Then Malfoy turned and returned to his bed.

Harry went to his own bed and started unpacking. He felt extremely odd. He felt like the words had actually hurt him, although usually everything coming from Malfoy merely made him irritated. The war and the following summer must've changed things between them more than Harry had thought. He felt empty.

Stupid sentences were flying inside his head, telling Malfoy would calm down, Malfoy was an idiot, there was a door nearby and Harry could leave the tent, Harry could go to McGonagall and tell her to find him another tent, Harry could go and find Ron and they could wait until Malfoy left the tent and they could beat him up and… what the hell, it wasn't supposed to go like this. Why the hell was Malfoy acting like this? Was this simply because Harry had talked about Malfoy in his speech? Was that it? If it was that, then why couldn't Malfoy just say so?

While Harry was unpacking he found his notebook and started writing himself. He simply wrote,

"I just wanted to know why – " but then he decided that it was better not to, and threw the paper in the bin under his writing table. He scanned the room once again with his eyes and realized there was still one door in the room he hadn't opened, it was on Draco's side. He sat on his bed and simply stared at Malfoy, who was now reading a book on his bed.

Well, at least the door of the tent was on Harry's side. And so was the bathroom. Because he was frustrated with Malfoy's behavior he decided to go and find Ron.

He shouted "Ron!" in front of Ron and Zabini's tent but no-one answered. He wondered if the sounds from outside could be heard inside the tent at all, so he tried to step in instead. That didn't work our either, there was an invisible wall blocking him. Apparently the tents were warded so that only the habitants of the tent could go in. What more could go wrong, Harry wondered as he returned back to his tent.

He realised that it was getting late when he saw Malfoy yawning, the boy was still reading, ignoring Harry completely. Harry's frustration only got worse so he decided to take a bath but then decided to go swimming in pool instead. There were even plenty of swimming trousers of different colours on the bathroom so Harry pulled on the ones that wore Gryffindor colours. He jumped straight into the pool and started swimming laps to free his mind. The pool was nice, it was unfortunate that it was difficult to enjoy it because his mind was still on Malfoy's eyes. How could he look so indifferent, and the words on the paper… why did it make Harry feel so empty, he felt an ache, like a pain, somewhere inside his chest. How could Malfoy say something like that, encourage Harry to take his own life. That was a bit much even for a git like Draco Malfoy. After all Harry had given a testimony on both Draco's and his mother's trials after the war. It was because of Harry that Malfoy could come back to school at all. It was because of Harry that Malfoy wasn't rotting in Azkaban right this minute.

He shouldn't care. It didn't matter. He could try to be friends with the insufferable git some other time. He wasn't going to fight with the ferret this year. No, that would have to change, they were older now and they should act according to it. They had both saved each other's lives during the war – it couldn't have been for nothing!

After swimming for a while, clearing his thoughts without coming to a plan and noticing that he had never been swimming in a pool like this before, he got up and went back to 'his part' of the room. Malfoy was still reading. Harry was only wearing the towel when he picked up his t-shirt and boxers from his cupboard and went to change them in the bathroom. After that he went straight to bed, put his glasses on the night table and turned off the light that was on the night table. Even without his glasses on, Harry could see the blurry form of Malfoy, who occasionally turned a page in the book he was reading. Harry felt weird for a minute and then realised that for some reason his pillow was clearly in the wrong end of the bed. Wasn't the pillow meant to be in the end where the night table was? If Harry would leave the pillow like it was now, he would have to sit up in the bed, and reach to the other end to get his glasses from the night table.

Not very convenient, Harry thought and picked up his pillow and threw it in the other end before crawling after it and slamming his head onto it. He had only managed to close his eyes and open them again when he became irritated. Now it was impossible to see Malfoy, because the night table and the working tables were blocking his view. It would feel weird not to see what Malfoy was up to, it must be some survival instinct. He made an irritated 'hmmph' sound and sat up again, threw his pillow back to the other end where it was before, and sighed happily when he once again put his head on it. He opened his eyes once more, thinking about whether he should get his wand somewhere closer than the night table, he noticed that Malfoy's head had turned to look at Harry, but Malfoy looked so blurry through Harry's eyes that he couldn't tell the expression on them. He ended up closing his eyes and hoping that Malfoy wouldn't curse him while he was sleeping. The thought was unnerving but he soon fell asleep nevertheless.

Harry woke up. It was dark and it took a minute to realize where he was. Oh right, the tent.  
Then he took a glance around, there were several very small spots of light in the ceiling and Harry wondered what they were, so he sat up and reached for his glasses. Apparently they were some sort of night lights, that looked like stars in the ceiling. It was pretty convenient since the tent would otherwise be very dark since there were no windows. Now it was possible to see the whole room but still the light was so subdued it wouldn't disturb when he would try to sleep again. Harry sensed a movement in the other side of the room and when he looked at Malfoy's bed, he noticed that Malfoy's pillow had just dropped on the floor. For some reason he looked at Malfoy, wondering again the note and the behavior of the ferret.  
Malfoy was moving and Harry tensed. Was he asleep?  
Harry narrowed his eyes and could tell that Malfoy had his eyes closed, so he must be sleeping. The movements of the boy were slow and small, but Harry could clearly see how Malfoy's fingers started to clutch the sheets. Then his legs moved a bit, pushing the blanket away, but not succeeding and his head turned towards Harry and then Harry could see his lips moving. Was Malfoy talking in his sleep?  
Then the head turned again, towards the wall where Harry couldn't see his face, and then it turned again towards Harry and Harry could see the deep frown on Draco's face, and the lips, and there was only one clear word the lips were repeating over and over again, "No."

Harry's heart started hammering. Malfoy was having a nightmare, there was no doubt about it. Harry's fist clenched and he could feel a small pang of pity. He could see the distress on Malfoy's face and how his body was tense, almost like someone was torturing him and the lips were repeating 'No' over and over again. Harry took a deep breath, sympathy paining his chest. He wanted to walk to the boy and wake him up. He would've done that but the barely visible wall Malfoy had created was still in the middle of the room. He really shouldn't be feeling any sympathy for Malfoy, who deserved the pain. But still Harry knew exactly how awful the nightmares could be and didn't wish them for anyone. And when Harry knew some of the things Malfoy had been facing before and during the war, it was no surprise the boy saw nightmares.

Suddenly Malfoy's whole body twitched like he'd had an electric shock and his eyes flew open. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest and leaned his head to his knees. Clearly taking some deep breaths and visibly shivering. Then in a quick movement he lifted his head and looked straight at Harry, like he had sensed the gaze, and only now Harry realised that he had been staring, looking at something that must've been very private. Nightmares were always personal and private, Harry assumed.

Without thinking Harry got up and walked to the wall separating the room and articulated his words, "Let me in."

Malfoy was staring, grey eyes huge and emotions flowing in them, and then shook his head.

Harry didn't move, but took a deep breath before saying, "Please."

Malfoy blinked and then his expression changed, the face turned cold, regaining the forms it usually wore and the he clearly shouted, "Fuck you."

Then he lay back, turned to his side towards the wall, not even noticing his pillow wasn't in the bed but on the floor and leaving Harry staring at his back. Harry muttered aloud, knowing no-one else would hear his words, "Why do you have to be such an idiot when I'm trying to be nice to you for once..."

Harry waited for a minute and then returned to his own bed. He sat on the bed staring at Malfoy's back for a moment before giving up, putting his glasses on the night table, put his head to the pillow and soon he was asleep. No nightmares tonight for Harry.


	2. The Malfoy Wall

Chapter 2 **_The Malfoy Wall_**

Malfoy had already left the tent when Harry woke up the next morning. There was one weird thing still in the room, and that was the almost invisible wall (which Harry decided to call the Malfoy Wall from now on) which was still there. That felt almost suspicious.  
Did Malfoy think that Harry would go through his stuff? And if he did, then was there something Harry wasn't supposed to find out?  
Old habits die hard, Harry thought and went to shower before dressing up and heading to breakfast.

In the Great Hall he sat down next to Hermione and said,"Hermione, I need your help."

Ron chewed his toast and asked with mouth full of food, "What the ferret done now?"

Harry answered, "The usual, being an idiot, that's what. Hermione, you have to help me with it."

Hermione frowned, "Of course I'll help if I can, but what makes you think that I can help you with him? I don't know him any better than you do. Actually I think you might know him a little better than I do."

Harry picked up some toast and buttered it while talking, "Well yeah, but I thought that... since you girls usually get things that I don't, so... I thought you might understand the situation or something, 'cause clearly there's something I'm missing."

Hermione looked pleased and answered, "Alright, but can we talk about it after the History of Magic lesson? I don't want to ruin my day by talking about Malfoy the first thing in the morning, even if he hasn't been as obnoxious as usual."

Harry nodded and smiled, "Yeah, that's fine."

Ron took another piece of toast and asked, "So did he snore?"

Harry was on the verge of telling about the Malfoy Wall, but then he thought that maybe Malfoy wouldn't want him to talk about it to anyone, and if Harry was really going to try and get to know Malfoy and forgive him the past and move on etc., then Harry would have to be very careful from now on not to piss Malfoy off more than he already had.

He heard himself saying, "No, he didn't"  
His eyes went to the Slytherin table, where Malfoy was reading the newspaper and next to him Zabini was talking with a girl Harry didn't know. Malfoy looked tired, but wore the usual face which didn't give any sign of his feelings.

Harry was wondering whether he should go after Malfoy after breakfast and try to talk with him, but then Harry thought that maybe he should leave him alone for a while, since almost all of their classes were planned so that most of the 8th year students were on the same classes. He would be seeing Malfoy almost in every class anyway. He could catch him after any class today, or he could wait until evening and ask for Hermione's advice before that.

He went to the library with Hermione after their History of Magic class, while Ron went to find some sweets for himself from his tent. Harry explained to Hermione about the Malfoy wall, asking if Hermione knew how to get rid of it, but Hermione said that she would have to see the wall first. He didn't mention anything about Malfoy's nightmares but he did tell about the note Malfoy wrote to him.

Hermione said, "Honestly Harry, even I thought that he would think that being friends with you would be good for the Malfoy's family name, which he always goes on about, so I'm pretty much clueless as to why he's so angry. Although I do think that he might be just too proud to accept your friendship like that. Other than that, I have no idea, and I think that there's only one way to find out about it."

Harry raised his eyebrows and smiled enthusiastically, waiting for some cunning plan, "And what would that be?"

Hermione smiled too, knowing her answer wasn't what Harry was expecting, "You must talk with him. Just you and him, and not talk about it to anyone else. It's between the two of you and you must get him to speak to you, even if it's going to be a difficult task. Besides if you really want to be his friend, then you have to act like a friend… but I wouldn't trust him though, and neither should you."

Then she gently patted Harry's arm and Harry sighed, disappointed in her answer. Then he grinned and asked, "Do you know how to brew felix felicis?"

Hermione burst out laughing.

Oh God, Harry thought, this was going to be an impossible task. Harry pulled his hair and sighed in frustration, thinking _why did I ever give that speech, what on earth possessed me that moment, what was I thinking!_ Then again, at least Malfoy's soul wasn't ripped in several pieces all over the country as horcruxes, so maybe this was something Harry would manage to do if he just tried hard enough.

Hermione said smiling, "Even if the two of you could never stand each other, I'm still proud of you, that you want to act like an adult and stop all the childish, petty rivalries of the past."  
Harry gave her a little smile, "Thanks, 'Mione"

Later that evening Harry was sitting on his bed, staring at the door of the tent. Twice today he had been running after Malfoy asking whether they could talk, but Malfoy hadn't said a word, instead walked away and Zabini had been with him the whole day and told Harry to fuck off. Zabini was clearly simply backing Malfoy up, because otherwise Zabini didn't look hostile or anything towards Harry.

So now Harry was simply waiting for Malfoy to enter the tent. It was an ambush, a little unfair maybe, but what else could Harry do.

Harry had been waiting for what felt like an eternity, surely all the other students were already in their beds and sleeping. But then he came. Malfoy's steps were fast and as soon as he noticed Harry, he was clearly going to cross the room to his side, but Harry already jumped up and quickly took hold of Malfoy's right arm before Malfoy could pull out his wand.  
"Just listen to me, Malfoy, listen!"

Malfoy didn't look at Harry, instead he sighed audibly and tried to pull his arm free from Harry's grip. Harry didn't let go.  
"I don't want to talk to you" Malfoy said and his voice sounded bored and tired. Harry was getting desperate, staring into the grey eyes which were looking somewhere over his head.

Harry was pissed off, because Malfoy was ignoring him. Harry's voice stayed calm though,  
"Just listen to me."  
Malfoy was still pulling his arm, but not hard enough, so Harry didn't let go. He stood right in front of the blond boy, preventing him from walking past him. Malfoy didn't say anything so Harry said,

"Look, I know you don't want to talk with me, but I just.. I wanted to tell you that I know that.. I must've done something to make you so angry with me, and I don't know what it is that I've done and…"

God, it was fucking weird trying to talk to Malfoy. Whatever Harry had been thinking of saying had now abandoned his brain and all the words were getting stuck in his throat, making him feel like an idiot. Besides it was so incredibly awkward trying to talk to Malfoy like he was a friend, when they really weren't, and whose facial expression hadn't changed at all. Harry couldn't look at him in the face anymore so instead he kept his eyes on Draco's neck which was right in front of him, on his eye level. _Shit_ _shit shit,_ Harry thought, _I used to have some vocabulary in my head, where did it go, Merlin help me.  
_"Um…" Harry was searching for words: "I would really like us to be… not fighting anymore and to act like adults… um… I know you still hate me, but… I don't want to hate you and… could you just tell me what it was that I've said that makes you so pissed off… because…"

Malfoy was completely still now, he wasn't trying to move or pull his hand away, but Harry's brain couldn't register more, because he was still looking for some more words. He had to speak, he had to talk until Malfoy would…

"Because I have to know, 'cause otherwise I won't leave you alone and - "

At this point Harry lifted his eyes back to Malfoy's face and fell silent, because Malfoy was clearly looking at his forehead and the scar. Harry tensed and Malfoy's gaze shifted back to where it had been earlier, somewhere over Harry's head. Harry was looking for words inside his head, but all he could think about was that Malfoy had been looking at the scar, why would he do that?

Malfoy didn't say anything, he didn't try to move, he looked indifferent and Harry's eyes returned to Malfoy's neck. He wasn't thinking anything anymore, he was simply waiting for the other one to react somehow. There was no point in talking since Harry had already made a complete fool of himself, and this wasn't even the first time today, and everything went worse by the minute. Everything went clearly worse every time Harry opened his mouth. Harry was thinking of spelling his own mouth shut when his eyes caught a movement, this tiny distraction made his thoughts move somewhere else.  
Malfoy swallowed.  
He had probably been indoors the whole summer because his neck was so pale.

The moment suddenly felt like an eternity, the silence was beating Harry's eardrums.  
Every time Malfoy was exhaling, Harry could feel it in his forehead. Maybe his hair was even moving with the flow, maybe that was what Malfoy had been looking at, he was probably even laughing inside his mind at the sight, laughing at how desperate and funny Harry looked.

When that thought crossed Harry's mind, he actually noticed it: Malfoy hadn't been laughing. There was no sign of amusement, humiliating Harry, or the usual sneer, and it was strange. There was a huge lack of… lack of the usual Draco Malfoy in the presence. Had he really changed this much? Or was he like this usually when Harry wasn't around? Harry didn't know him at all.

"Have you finished?" Malfoy asked, his voice was quiet.

Harry looked him in the eyes, Malfoy's gaze was cool, icy – not burning, like it used to.  
Now how can you melt ice like that, Harry wondered and ended up giving a faint smile and saying, "Yeah… but… I still need you to tell me why you're so pissed off at me."

Malfoy looked down to his right side, and Harry was already feeling excited, hoping the ice prince was melting finally. Draco pulled his arm slowly. Suddenly Harry realised he still had a hold of the boy's arm, and he was supposed to let go now. But he simply watched the Slytherin pull his arm, and finally his brain seemed to register the message and Harry watched his own fingers loosen slowly, letting the thin arm out of the grip. It felt like everything was in slow motion.

He regretted letting go as soon as Malfoy took a slow, careful step to the side so he could walk past Harry and Harry was simply watching, almost like watching the weather change, unable to affect its movements, unable to do anything but watch.  
Malfoy took a couple of more of those slow steps, got further away from the dark haired boy who kept staring, and then the Slytherin slowly pulled out his wand, and Harry heard himself shouting, "Don't!"

But the beam of light already flew from the tip of the wand, hit the wall between the desks and the Malfoy Wall was back in the same place it was before. Harry realised Malfoy hadn't even taken the earlier version off first, so it must've been made so that the caster can simply walk through it but then he has to cast it again. Harry shook his head in defeat and repeated, "Don't."

Malfoy read his lips easily and then turned away. Harry went to his bed and sat down, thinking. What should he do now? Was he supposed to simply wait? Surely this couldn't go on forever. Why was it so hard for Malfoy to simply say aloud the reasons he was so mad about?  
Harry sighed but then looked up when he noticed Malfoy walking to the door on his side, next to the fireplace. Harry caught a glimpse of the room inside and realised it was an identical bathroom to the one on his side of the room.

Well… at least the main door of the tent was still on Harry's side of the room, so Malfoy would have to go through Harry's side every time he wanted out.

Harry sighed again, went to the cupboard and quickly changed his clothes, not bothering to do the changing in the bathroom. Then he went to bed, put his glasses underneath the bed this time, instead of the night table and turned off the light. He closed his eyes, trying to think about something that would bring in the sleep, but the whole Malfoy business was distracting him awfully much. After a while he opened his eyes and the sight was the same as the night before: Malfoy reading something in his bed. Harry wondered what the time was, surely it was past midnight. Then he closed his eyes and finally fell asleep moments after.

He knew he was having a nightmare because he couldn't move properly. He was running with Ron, they knew Hermione was somewhere, 'cause they could hear the screaming. They turned to the right in the corridor and kept running, and the screaming was getting. Then they turned to left and the screaming got even worse. They were in a maze, they couldn't find her and the screaming was awful. Then there was another voice, Bellatrix saying _crucio_, and the screaming got louder and louder and then Bellatrix again, saying _avada_ –

Harry jumped up in his bed and shouted, whether he was going to shout in the dream or whether he was just relieved to be awake, he couldn't tell. He was gasping, noticing how sweaty he was.

These dreams happened often. He knew they were the aftermath of the war and he didn't worry about them during the day, but it was never nice to see stuff like that in dreams. His breathing went back to normal. Then he remembered where he was and he took a look at Malfoy's bed. He couldn't see enough, so he grabbed his glasses from under the bed. Just in time apparently, to witness the nightly horrors again, 'cause Malfoy was gripping his sheets, and his legs were moving, again pushing the blanket away but it was stuck around his knees and his head kept turning from side to side, lips repeating the same one word.

Harry had never seen anyone move so much in their sleep without waking. It was awful to even look at, Harry didn't even want to know what Malfoy was dreaming about. He couldn't watch it anymore. He closed his eyes for a moment and said to himself aloud, "I really shouldn't care, I really shouldn't. I know he wouldn't. He'd laugh if he saw me like that."  
He took a deep breath, and then said to himself aloud again, "But I told him I wanted to be friends with him. It was my decision. I'm not taking it back. I'd hate to watch anyone like that, especially my friends. And that what he's supposed to be, as soon as I make it work."  
He sighed again. Then he opened his eyes and took another look at the distressed boy inside the horror world of dreams.

But of course! Harry jumped up from his bed and ran. To his bathroom, and into the poolroom, running fast, feet stomping on the tiles. On the other side of the poolroom there was a door, Harry flew it open, and ran, into another bathroom (just like the other one), and through the last door, and there he was, standing right beside Malfoy's bed!

"Malfoy!" He said, gasping for breath and boldly sitting on the edge of Malfoy's bed, right next to the moving boy, whose fingers were clutching and ripping at the sheet, now with the pained voice saying "No.. no.." over and over again.  
"Malfoy, wake up!" Harry raised his voice a bit.  
The expression was painful to look at, a deep frown and the forehead all wet with sweat. Maybe Malfoy didn't recognize his last name while he was asleep, so Harry tried again,  
"Draco, come on, wake up."  
Harry put his hand on Draco's left arm, far above the faintly visible dark mark and stroked the arm quite hard and repeated, "Draco, wake up, you're dreaming, wake up!"

And then finally the boy did, his eyes flew open and he gasped, like he had been running (or drowning), his breathing was fast and he was staring straight at Harry and Harry said, trying to sound comforting,  
"It's okay, you were dreaming."  
The panic in Malfoy's eyes vanished unbelievably fast and he calmed down, white fingers let loose of the sheet he'd been grabbing but not reacting to Harry's hand on his arm in any way. He put his right hand over his eyes, rubbing them and sighed before asking,  
"How did you get here?" The voice was quiet.

Harry answered simply, "Bathroom."

Malfoy was quiet for a moment before suddenly talking, "I've been locking it with spells but apparently they've already worn off and I forgot they last only for a certain amount of time inside Hogwarts."

Harry blinked, Draco was still trying to hide behind the hand on his face, but Harry was surprised he talked that much. Then Harry said, "I understand if you want privacy and I won't come to your side of the room even if you don't put up walls and lock the bathroom doors."

Malfoy didn't answer so Harry choose his next words carefully, "And I'm sorry if I'm… in your space right now but... I tend to see nightmares and I'd rather someone woke me up, so I just reacted instinctively, without thinking that you probably don't want me to wake you up."

That sounded stupid, Harry thought, but it was really difficult to try to be friends with someone who didn't want to be friends. That was what Harry's plan had been – to be friends, and at least not enemies. He had to keep reminding himself of that quite often apparently; otherwise he'd surely forget and start a fight or something.

Malfoy swept his forehead with his hand before letting it drop above his head, still not reacting to the fact that Harry's hand was on his left arm. Harry quickly pulled it away, realising it was still there, like he'd forgotten it there. How did that happen?

"How very Gryffindor of you," Draco said and now he actually sounded a bit like his usual self, and then came the familiar drawl that finished the sentence, "Potter."

Suddenly Harry found himself smiling, a real smile, a friendly one. But just as quickly there was a movement, and a wand pressed against his throat. Malfoy had apparently had his wand under the pillow and he was looking furious, saying, "You're not Potter. Who are you?"

Somewhere underneath that angriness there was a faint reflection of fear in the grey eyes, and Harry knew he wasn't joking, "What? Of course it's me! What are you – "

"At which subject is Harry Potter usually crap in except during his sixth year here?" Malfoy's tone was serious.

Harry answered, "You must be joking, it's really me and I'm still crap in potions."

The angry expression didn't change, greyness flaming like fire, "Why were you good in potions on sixth year?"

Harry frowned, "Do you even know the answer to that yourself? I was good, because I had Snape's old book and there were notes that he'd written."

Malfoy was quiet for a second but eventually dropped his wand hand on his chest. Then Harry asked quietly, "Why did you think I'm not me?"

Malfoy flinched visibly and avoided Harry's gaze as he answered, "Because you don't smile at me. Ever. And don't ever do it again, it's creepy, not like you at all."

Harry couldn't help but laugh. Malfoy's face turned angry yet again, "Don't laugh at me or I swear I'll hex you."

Harry answered calmly, "I'm not laughing at you, it's just funny. And I'm going to smile at you from now on, whether you like it or not."

Malfoy shook his head but returned his gaze to Harry's eyes, "Why would you do that? You only smile to the weasel."

Harry was grinning, "Yeah, and why is that? Because – "

"Because he looks ridiculous!" Malfoy ended the sentence for him but Harry continued,

"No, he doesn't. I smile at him because he's my friend. And I want to be friends with you, I really do."

Something happened behind Draco's eyes, a small spark and Harry almost thought he was going to smile but then the face fell blank. Suddenly Malfoy turned on his right side, still holding the wand in his hand, facing the wall and closed his eyes, "Not even you, Saint Potter, can get everything you want."

Harry frowned, "I don't get everything I want, and stop calling me names, you ferret."

But Harry's voice wasn't even angry. He wasn't pissed off at all, which was surprising.

Malfoy muttered, "If you want to hurt my feelings then you have to try a bit harder, the ferret-thing is getting old."

Harry sighed, "So is the Saint Potter thing…"

Malfoy said, "Whatever. Now go, I want to sleep."

And so Harry did, he got up and when he was at the door, he said, "Hey Malfoy..."

"What?" He sounded irritated, but not as much as Harry expected.

Harry was hesitating, biting his lip, unsure of if this was a good move to make, "I would still like to know, why you were so pissed off, so… could we talk about it tomorrow?"

"I'll think about it. Now go, before I start seeing nightmares of you harassing me."

"Okay, um, good night." With that Harry left the room, not hearing an answer and not expecting it either. He went back to his bed and fell asleep immediately.


	3. Baby steps

Chapter 3 Baby steps

Just like the day before, Malfoy had already left the tent when Harry woke up. Harry went to shower and wondered how fast things would start to feel like a routine. It was still new to be in Hogwarts and actually not spend the nights in the boys former dormitories like always before. The tent would be alright, as soon as Harry could get things right with Malfoy. Harry was certain that the previous night had been a step in the right direction, he would have to thank Hermione. So he did as soon as he got to the Great Hall.

"How's it going with Malfoy?" Ron asked him as soon as Harry sat down. Harry poured himself some tea and took some bacon and scrambled eggs while answering,

"I don't know, better I guess, not too good though. How's it going with Zabini?"

Ron's mouth was full and he swallowed before answering, "It's going better than I thought."

Hermione was sitting next to Ron and said, "You should tell Harry about your so called Tent Rules, so that Harry could ask Malfoy to do the same thing."

Harry looked at Hermione and then Ron, "What are Tent Rules?"

Ron's mouth was full again and Harry waited anticipating when he finally answered, "Yeah, we talked with Blaise on the first night and we were thinking that since we are not friends, we should have some rules so that we don't have to start any unnecessary fights and we both get to leave here alive when the times comes."

Harry raised his eyebrows, "You call him Blaise?"

Ron nodded, "Yeah."

Harry was bewildered, "And you've been talking about rules for your tent… together?"

Ron nodded again, "I know, it's weird, but… he's not that bad."

Harry wasn't expecting this, "Really? But that's good, Ron, that's very good. Although that means I'm pathetic since Malfoy barely talks to me."

Hermione smiled, "Oh don't worry, Harry, he'll come around eventually. Besides with you and Malfoy's history I don't think that it can be compared with the friendships we make with other people from Slytherin."

Harry drank some pumpkin juice and nodded in agreement, "I guess you're right. Ron, can you tell me more about the rules that you've made?"  
Ron was eating what must've been his third sausage,  
"Well… we wrote down three things each we'd like to have a rule about, and then we looked at each other's lists, and then we talked about them and made the 5 rules that we must keep, with an agreement that we'll have a discussion if anything must be changed later on."

The post arrived, and Harry received a letter with an owl he thought he recognised but couldn't remember why. He read the letter and wondered whether he should show it to anyone or not. Automatically his eyes shot to the slytherin table, only to meet the cool grey eyes and he made the decision, putting the letter in his pocket.

"What's that?" Ron asked. Harry knew he would ask and he articulated very carefully when he said to Ron, "Nothing."

Luckily Hermione asked, "Did you manage to do your charms homework?"

Harry sighed and shook his head, poured himself some tea and answered, "No, I needed help with them, but there was no-one in the common room so I spent the whole night trying to figure them out myself and I still couldn't get all of them done."

Ron said, "Everyone's been outside a lot, it's been nice weather for once, not raining for whole two days."

Throughout the day Harry kept thinking about whether Malfoy would talk with him today or not. He thought that the evening would be the best time to try and have a chat. Potions was as boring as ever, Slughorn had stayed and was still praising Harry, much to Harry's annoyance. DADA was okay, although the students seemed to already know everything that they were taught. The only interesting thing was that Malfoy walked past Harry and whispered to him, "Don't answer that letter yet."  
The rest of the classes were a sort of blur to Harry, he wasn't paying too much attention because he was asking Ron about his newly found friendship with Blaise, and staring at Malfoy's back wondering whether he could get a similar friendship with Malfoy. What if they could have a talk about tent rules and call each other by their first names? The whole idea seemed distant and absurd although Harry was even more determined to make friends with Malfoy now than he had been on the first day.

When the evening came, Harry was sitting on his bed, waiting for Malfoy with Marauder's map in his lap. It was easier to wait when he could watch the boy move around the castle. Earlier the small dot with Malfoy's name above it had been near the lake almost an hour and Harry had been wondering whether he should go and talk with him outside. He decided it was best to stay somewhere inside, most preferably somewhere hidden from other people's eyes, since everything felt so weird yesterday.  
Harry didn't want to take a chance that they might start fighting somewhere public. No, he wouldn't do that anymore. They must've been past that already. At least that was what everyone would think if they didn't fight publicly.

Malfoy came earlier than the previous day and the first thing he said was, "Did you answer my mum?"

Harry shook his head, "Not yet."

Malfoy paced in front of him a couple of times. Harry patted the bed with his hand and, after hesitating, Malfoy did sit down, not close enough to touch, but not too far away either.

"Let me see that." Malfoy ordered, but it wasn't harsh.

"Only if you have a proper talk with me after that." Harry stared at him in the eyes, waiting for Malfoy to refuse. He did consider this for a while, clearly thinking through several things and finally snapping,

"Fine."

Harry handed him the letter from his pocket.

_Mr. Potter_

_I assume my son has already thanked you for everything you have done for us during the summer. I was going to write you before but decided it would be better if Draco thanked you personally, face to face. I sent him a letter asking whether he thanked you or not, he has not replied. Therefor I wanted to let you know that he will thank you eventually if he has not already. _

_Narcissa Malfoy_

After reading the letter Malfoy gave it back and Harry put it inside his pocket again. Harry hesitated but looked Malfoy in the eyes when he said,

"I'm going to write her back. What would you like me say to her?"

Draco shrugged and asked, "Does it matter what I say? It's your letter."

Now it was Harry who shrugged, "Yeah, but… is it okay with you if I just say that you already thanked me?"

Draco frowned, "Why would you say that?"

Harry shrugged again, "Well… she said she already asked you if you've done it, so... if I told her you have, then you could also tell her you've done it and then she wouldn't be owling you about it again."

Draco stretched his legs and looked away while saying, "I don't really care, say whatever you want."

Harry sighed, "Alright. Then I'll just say you thanked me tonight."

Malfoy stayed quiet so Harry changed the subject, "Did you know that Ron and Zabini... I mean Blaise are becoming friends and have Tent Rules?"

Malfoy nodded, sounding a bit irritated, "Yes, I do know that. Why?"

Harry pulled his legs up and crossed them before answering, "Well... I was wondering if you'd like to... if we made some rules also, so that we didn't have to fight about things."

Malfoy frowned and looked Harry in the eyes, "You know what, Potter? I really wouldn't like that. You know why?"

Harry didn't smile, "Why?"

Draco answered, "Because I really don't care about what rules you might like, and I already made my rules which you must learn to live with. And that's that. End of this topic. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Harry frowned but then raised his hands and hid his face in them. He clenched his jaw. Oh God, he was suddenly so angry, he might burst into flames right now or he might punch Malfoy in that aristocratic sharp nose. Insufferable git. Insufferable. How could anyone communicate with that ferret.

"I hope you're not crying, because if you are, then I'm going to have to move out." It sounded just like everything else he'd said, it sounded bored.

"I'm not crying. I'm trying to prevent a really huge fight and you better keep your mouth shut right now."

Harry could feel how much Draco wanted to answer something and make Harry furious but instead Draco kept quiet. Finally Harry let his hands drop and didn't bother to look at Draco while saying,

"Malfoy, you know what?"

Harry had to wait because the git answered only when Harry looked him in the eyes, "What?"

Harry sighed, "I think it's best if we go to sleep now and continue talking tomorrow. I would ask you if tomorrow night is okay with you, but it's better if you don't even answer, since I'm really on the edge here. Unless you want to wrestle with me. So... go... and sleep or something."

Malfoy looked at him in the eyes, dull grey with a small flicker of something that looked like hurt, and then slowly got up, not saying anything. The Malfoy Wall disappeared only for seconds before it was back on. Harry watched while Malfoy changed clothes, his brain still buzzing with irritation and then he went to change himself and soon he was back in bed, under blanket and this time he slept his back towards Malfoy.

Harry didn't see nightmares that night, and he didn't wake up during the night.

The next morning when he went to breakfast he was feeling a bit better, but still he was annoyed because of Malfoy. He had been doing everything he could think of, repeatedly trying to make Malfoy communicate with him properly, and by far the results were disappointing.

Ron was sitting next to him and Harry asked, "What are you doing tonight?"

Ron shrugged, "First I'm going to spend some time with Hermione, maybe we'll go outside if it's not raining. Then we talked with Blaise that we might play a game after we've done our homework."

Harry was drinking pumpkin juice and couldn't help the small pang of jealousy. Why was it that Ron was already in such good terms with Blaise, it was only their first week in Hogwarts and already they were spending time together even when they could've done something else!

Harry asked, "What game?"

Ron made a face, "I don't know, we didn't decide yet. I could ask him if it's alright you come with us, if you want to?"

Harry was hesitating but then he thought that maybe he should let Malfoy be for a while and then try again later. Maybe he could even ask Blaise some questions about Malfoy.

"Alright, sounds good." He smiled to Ron and Ron pulled a small paper out of his pocket and started writing. Then he left the parchment next to his plate while he took some cereal. Harry noticed the parchment was empty now but soon there were letters on it.

"What's that?" He asked Ron, who was now munching his cereal.

"Oh, this, it's um... I don't know a name for it, but it's a piece of parchment and Blaise charmed it so that we can send messages to each other with it. Like… now I just asked him if it's alright that you join us for our game night and he answered - "

Now Ron and Harry were both looking at the text that said, "OK. Ask Potter to bring some butterbeer."

Harry took a glance at the Slytherin table and met the grey eyes briefly. There was a similar parchment on the table between Malfoy and Zabini and Harry could've sworn Malfoy had just done the same thing, wondered about the charmed parchments. Malfoy was now eating an apple and not looking at Harry but then he was writing in Blaise's parchment and Harry eyes went automatically to Ron's parchment. The words came quickly, "Stop staring at me, Potter."

Harry smiled and asked Ron, who now had his mouth open, "Can I write him back?"

Ron shrugged, "Sure, go ahead."

Harry wrote, "I'm not staring. I'm still planning on talking with you after I've played with them. Can we meet at eleven? Do you want to play with us?"

Harry was surprised when the parchment grew suddenly a bit bigger while he was still writing. Ron said, "Oh yeah and it changes it's form depending on your messages…"

Hermione was sitting next to Ron and she was now asking, "Have you made any progress with your tent mate?"

Harry simply shook his head, eyes still on the parchment and now there were words appearing on it. It said, "Fine. No."

Harry didn't write anymore. Instead he asked Ron, "Have you seen Neville?"

Ron took a look around, "Yeah, he was here earlier but he's probably gone already. Why?"

Harry asked, "Who's he sharing his tent with?"

Ron answered, "Nott. And I know what you're going to ask next and the answer is: they communicate but they are definitely not friends yet. But Luna is getting on with Daphne Greengrass, can you believe it?"

Harry shook his head but didn't say anything. He was hoping tonight would go well, he was determined not to become irritated about Malfoy's ignorant behavior.

Then Harry suddenly asked Ron, "Do you think it's weird that Parkinson and Goyle didn't return this year?"

Ron's eyesbrows shot up, "Bloody hell, Harry! Don't you read the papers? I thought you did! Why didn't you say anything, now I'll have to tell you all sorts of things! First of all Pansy got married and moved to France, yes she did, ask Hermione if you don't believe me. And then Goyle…"

Now Ron was leaning very close to Harry's ear before he whispered, "He's disappeared and no-one knows whether he's abroad or whether he's dead but some people have been saying that he might've killed himself."

Harry nearly choked on his pumpkin juice and the voice came out a little bit louder than supposed to, "What?"

Ron simply nodded and didn't say anything more. Harry was shocked. Why would Goyle kill himself? They had saved his life during the war and those days didn't seem so long ago. He took a look at Malfoy and noticed how tired the boy looked. Things were starting to make sense all of a sudden. Malfoy must've been lonely. He's father was in Azkaban and wouldn't be released ever, and there was only Zabini left from those people he usually had spent his time with in school, at least as far as Harry knew. There were also all kinds of other things, like the Malfoy name, a bad name nowadays, it meant trouble and nothing else, Malfoy's whole future must've vanished into thin air. Suddenly Harry felt sad looking at the blond boy, who was a bit too thin, too pale and looked tired.

Then he said to Ron, "I actually feel sorry for him"

Ron nodded, "Me too."

Harry was surprised, "You do?"

Ron nodded again, "Yeah. I mean… I don't like him, but there's been all kinds of stuff in the papers about him and his family and everyone hates him. Have you noticed how almost no-one in this school talks to him? And yet he's trying to cope with it, he even said 'good morning' to me and Hermione one morning when we happened to come in here at the same time."

Harry was blinking. There was simply too much information and his brain couldn't absorb it all, "He.. said 'good morning'.. to you and Hermione?!"

Ron grinned, "Yup."

Harry continued eating, trying to understand everything he just heard and trying to put the pieces of the puzzle in the right place. Yes, that's what Malfoy was. A very difficult puzzle Harry must solve.

The day went on as usual and Harry had time to think about things. There was still one question lingering in his head. Malfoy had clearly been really angry with him on the first night, so what was it that had made Malfoy so angry? And he was still angry, otherwise surely Harry would've made some progress in the task of becoming friends with him.

When the evening came Harry found himself in Ron and Zabini's tent. He had just asked about the wards of the tent and they told him that strangers can't access the tents unless they have a member of the tent with them. They were playing exploding snap and Harry asked Blaise,

"Has Malfoy been always that ignorant about everything?"

Blaise looked at him and frowned, "What the hell, Potter. You're not seriously thinking you two could become friends, are you?"

Harry simply stared back, "Why not?"

Blaise didn't answer, he only shook his head. Harry hesitated but asked,

"Do you know why he's so angry with me?"

Blaise played his turn before answering, "Yes. And it's your turn now, try to concentrate on the game, will you."

Harry quickly made his turn and then asked, "Can you tell me why he's so pissed off?"

Blaise shook his head before saying, "I really can't believe how stupid you Gryffindors are at times. Use your brain, Potter."

Harry clenched his jaw, Ron wasn't meeting his eyes. Then he asked,

"But I really want to be friends with him and I've tried to talk to him but he won't talk to me, he simply ignores me."

Blaise shrugged and played his turn, "I'm not talking about his things with you. You should know that. But I can ask you some questions and then you have to use your brain after that."

Harry nodded in agreement and Blaise asked him, "Why do you want to be friends with him?"

Harry shrugged, "Uhm... because I don't want to fight with him anymore and…"

Blaise looked at him and said, "Go on, keep on talking."

Harry put a card on the table and continued, "I think that he could use some friends. I don't hate him anymore and..." Blaise was clearly waiting him to go on and Harry didn't know what to say anymore,

"And it would be good if people of different houses became friends."

Blaise shook his head, it was his turn again to put a card on the table, "Oh Potter, how can you be this dim? So you want to be friends with him because you feel sorry for him because you think he doesn't have enough friends?"

Harry was about to nod but then said, "No, it's not that, I just..."

Blaise looked at him and talked over him, "So you want to be friends with him so that the Slytherin versus Gryffindor rivalry diminishes?"

Harry nodded and Blaise rolled his eyes, "I can't believe this. Oh man, this is going to be tough. Okay, I'm asking you a question now, and try to think about your answer in contrast to what you just told me. How did you meet Ron Weasley?"

Harry met Ron's eyes and they both smiled, "In Hogwarts express. We started talking and then Malfoy came and - "

Blaise talked over him again, "Why did you become friends with Ron? Because you liked him?"

Harry answered, "Yes."

Blaise stopped playing and asked, "Do you want to become friends with Draco because you like him?"

Harry tried to look for the right answer in his head, "Is that the right answer? I should like him first?"

Suddenly Blaise burst into laughter, "God, Potter. I'll ask you another question. Did you plan your friendship with Ron Weasley and do you usually plan to be friends with someone?"

Harry shook his head, "No."

Now Blaise looked at him meaningfully, "Exactly. Usually people don't plan on becoming friends with someone, so you're going the wrong road already. You're doing it because your stupid Gryffindor brain thinks it's the right thing to do. And it's not. Not with Draco. Now go and talk with him, but try to use your brain and don't let him ignore you if you really want to get to know him."

Harry smiled, "Thanks, Blaise."

Blaise asked, "Now, what do I get in return for all this information?"

Harry answered, "If he talks to me tonight, then I'll let you decide what you want in return."

Blaise looked a bit surprised by this but offered his hand to Harry, "Deal."

Harry shook it briefly and got up, "Good night you both. Ron, I'll meet you at breakfast."

Ron and Blaise both bid him goodnight and Harry was smiling when he got to his tent. It was ten to eleven, but Malfoy was already there, reading again. Harry walked to the Malfoy Wall and waited until the blond boy looked up, then Harry smiled and received a roll of eyes in return but then the Wall disappeared and Harry walked to Malfoy's bed. Draco didn't move an inch and appeared to be still reading although Harry was sure he didn't read.

"Can I sit down? Or we could use the couch." Harry asked, barely realizing that actually they had a couch and they hadn't used it even once.

"Whatever." Came the answer. Harry sat down and looked at the boy's back. He wanted to tell Malfoy to turn around so that he could see his face but waited for a while searching for words. Then Harry said, "I've been trying to think and –"

Harry was waiting for a retort and even kept a pause for it, but it never came so he continued,  
"I think that I don't know you well enough to know why you're so mad at me and... maybe you're mad at me, because you were thinking that I want to be friends with you for some specific reason. Is that it?"

Malfoy didn't turn around but closed the book and dropped it on the floor. He didn't answer either and Harry frowned, "I suppose the silence means yes."  
Malfoy still didn't answer, he was picking at his nails. Harry said,

"Were you thinking that I only want to be friends with you because I think it's the right thing to do, because we are from different houses?"

Finally Malfoy turned around and moved his legs so that Harry could sit better on the bed. Malfoy answered, "Hey Potter, why don't you amuse me and tell me all the reasons you had in mind on the first night when we came here, when you were giving that stupid speech of yours."

Suddenly Harry smiled, "It was awfully stupid, I know, I really didn't want to give a speech but McGonagall made me. Hmm... at the time I was thinking I just want you and me to grow up and stop fighting because so much happened during the war and I think that we've both grown up and changed. I just wanted to change things between us, and I honestly thought that you'd be thinking the same. But what do you want? I can't be friends with you unless you want the same thing. Do you want us to be like when we were younger?"

Malfoy met his eyes briefly but then let his eyes wander in the ceiling, "You still want to be friends with me?"

Harry answered quickly, the words coming fast and without even thinking, "Yes. And not just because I want to stop fighting with you. I know it's stupid of me thinking that I can just plan to be friends with someone although I don't even know if they'd like that or not. But I'd like that. I want it, but you need to want it too, otherwise it won't happen."

Malfoy sighed, "Potter, be honest like a good little Gryffindor, do you sincerely think that we could ever be real friends?"

Harry looked into the grey eyes and tried to find an emotion, any emotion, in them and on instinct he answered, "Yes."

Malfoy stared at him and didn't say anything for a while. Then he suddenly said, "You know what?"

Harry asked, "What?"

Malfoy said, "Even if you and I manage not to kill each other, it doesn't mean that I'm going to be nice to you all of a sudden. I'm not like that. I'm not like your sweet little Gryffindor friends. I don't talk about things. I like my privacy. I'm not going to be all smiley and opening up about my life and feelings, so if that's what you want, then you should go and find yourself another friend."

Harry nodded and held his gaze, absorbing the greyness, "I want to get to know you and I don't think you'd be like anyone else, nor do I want that."

Malfoy didn't answer but kept looking Harry in the eyes and then he frowned, "This is extremely strange. Why are you trying to be nice to me? You must've lost your - "  
Suddenly Malfoy closed his lips and the retort stayed inside his mouth without never coming out.

Harry couldn't take his eyes away from the grey ones, "Because that's what I'm usually trying to be like with my friends."

Malfoy's eyes were as calm as his voice was, "It's strange nevertheless."

Harry smiled, "Yes, extremely."

Malfoy's eyes lit up for a moment, the passive ignorance was gone from his eyes and he looked at Harry's lips for a moment, and frowned once again, almost like not believing that Harry was smiling at him. But then the small glow went away and his eyes were cold again.

Harry realised the silence felt quite nice and didn't want to break it so instead he was simply looking at Malfoy and taking in all the little details, like how blond the hair was, how the greyness of the eyes looked suddenly very familiar, but this time it didn't look hostile, it looked simply familiar, and the colour was almost like some rain cloud shade. The nose looked familiar too even though Harry had never thought that it looked nice, but now he realised that the shape of it was actually kind of… nice, elegant. After a moment of letting his eyes wander he suddenly noticed that there was absolutely nothing in those features that he hated. All the anger he used to feel was gone, washed away like a tidal wave.

Then he heard himself saying quietly, "This is strange."

Malfoy didn't answer, his eyes were smoothly absorbing Harry's facial features. He held Harry's gaze when he said, "I know how to charm parchment the way Blaise did, we could have those as well, if you want?"

Harry was certain he'd never ever heard Malfoy's voice so calm and soft, who knew that boy could use his voice like that. Harry was mesmerized, feeling like he was melting, "I'd love that."

"You still want to know why I was so angry with you?" Malfoy's voice still stayed soft but now he was pulling his gaze away from Harry's and Harry felt almost disappointed because it was nice to stare and try to find something readable in the grey eyes, anything else than ignorance.

"Yeah" Harry could barely notice how his own voice had become soft as well.

Malfoy was looking a bit nervous, his eyes scanning the ceiling, "Plenty of reasons really. I thought you'd think it was right thing to do, just like you said, just because it would look good if we got along and then people could learn from it. You'd use me to achieve your own goals. And I didn't want that. I thought you felt pity for me because you still have your friends and I'm only with Blaise. I don't want your pity, I hate that. I like my privacy, like I said, I hate the fact that all the papers write shit about my family. So I hated the way you spoke about me publicly, everyone knew it was me you were talking about. I felt embarrassed. I still do. And I hate that. I hate the way you think you can just suddenly think that I'd like to be friends with you and forget our past like it didn't exist. And I think you think I have problems and you want to help. And I don't want that. I don't need your help in anything."

Harry couldn't think of anything to say, he was slowly finally understanding everything and it felt like he should've known all of this. They were simple things, why hadn't he understood them before.

Malfoy met his eyes and finally Harry muttered, "So I screwed up pretty badly."

Malfoy nodded and Harry kept looking him in the eyes while his lips were forming words without thinking, "I'm sorry."

The grey eyes didn't pull away from the gaze. Then Harry asked, "Can you forgive me?"

He knew it was a weird thing to ask considering how much they had been fighting in the past and now everything felt new, like they didn't have that entire burden from the past. Just because Malfoy had finally talked about his thoughts, the air had become breathable and even light in Harry's lungs. Malfoy's voice was still soft, almost like the arrogance had been replaced by something seductive and luring, making Harry swallow his own pride over and over again to melt down Draco's coldness,

"Maybe."

Harry wanted more than anything to stay there and drown in those eyes, the colour was now reminding him of a stormy sea. He even thought whether he was losing his mind. Feeling like he couldn't move, feeling like there was something pulling him deeper and deeper and he wanted to ask if Malfoy had done a spell on him but his lips didn't take orders from his brain. Then Malfoy broke the silence,

"Do you have a partner for the trip to Forbidden forest tomorrow?"

"You mean the herbs lesson?"

"Yes."

"No, I don't. Do you want to be my pair?" Harry asked, the words forming on his lips easily, like he was talking to a real friend.

Malfoy nodded and suddenly Harry was smiling again. Then he said, "Thank you."

The Slytherin frowned, "For what?"

"For finally talking to me. You should do that more often, 'cause I can be pretty... dim sometimes." Harry's smile didn't seem to go away.

Malfoy almost smiled at that, "You're welcome."

Then Harry said, "And thank you for… saving my life, when we were at… your home."

Malfoy tensed visibly and didn't answer.

"Oh that reminds me... wait..." Harry got up and went to his cupboard and then came back, sat down and offered the wand. Malfoy gasped and reached his hand but didn't take the wand until Harry encouraged him, "Take it."

So he did. He took it in both of his hands and let his fingers run the surface. Finally he said, "Thank you." The voice was quiet, and his eyes were kept in the wand.

Harry smiled, "You're welcome. Oh and one more thing before I forget. Do you have some special reason for the Malfoy Wall in our tent or could you possibly not put it back again?"

Malfoy looked him in the eyes and blinked a couple of times before answering, "There's a reason and I can't tell you why. But I'm not scheming or anything so you don't need to worry about that."

Harry's smile went away before he stuttered, suddenly finding it hard to form a sentence, "Alright. It's just… It's.. I feel awful if you're seeing a nightmare and I can't come and wake you up."

Malfoy's eyes widened and he was silent for a moment before saying, slightly irritated, "They're just nightmares, Potter."

Harry wanted to ask but remained silent. Malfoy yawned and said, "You have to go and get some sleep so that you're ready to pick up some plants tomorrow. I'm not the kneeling type."

Harry laughed, "Don't tell me that Malfoy's never kneel."

"Malfoy's don't kneel. Especially if the Chosen One is around." Malfoy confirmed and his lips curved a bit upwards.

Harry watched the small movement of the lips and suddenly his chest was aching. He felt like exploding, uninvited sympathy and emotions flowing through him painfully.  
If he hadn't managed to get that Slytherin on that broom that day… What if he'd never heard Malfoy say stuff like that again, calling him names, witty remarks.  
The bathroom. If Snape hadn't healed Malfoy.  
If there had been a void, size of this certain Malfoy in his life, could Harry have ever filled that void with anything.

He felt certain now, he could never have a life without this git, whatever role the boy had in his life, and right at that moment he forgave Malfoy everything he'd ever done. It didn't matter anymore. All he wanted right now was to have that boy as a part of his life. Merlin, he was suddenly thankful the blond was alive. Where the feeling came from he couldn't understand.

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?" Malfoy's voice cut through his thinking.

Harry smiled, a sad smile, his feelings were a whirlpool inside him, "No. I was just thinking."

"Well don't, it doesn't suit you and your brain must not be familiar with something like that. Go and get some sleep."

Malfoy yawned again. And Harry finally stood up and said, "You're telling me to go to sleep? You're the one who's not been sleeping enough."

Malfoy's eyes were suddenly cold, "What makes you say that?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know. You've been looking tired lately."

Malfoy shook his head, "Take care of your own sleeping business, not mine. Now go."

He even made a little shooing wave with his hand and Harry obediently walked to his own part of the room and said, "Okay, good night."

Malfoy used his own wand to cast the wall spell before hiding the wand underneath his pillow. Harry changed his clothes quickly, thought about how emotional he had been after the war, all these feelings tonight must have something to do with that, and fell asleep with a smile on his face, facing towards Draco Malfoy.


	4. A crack in the facade

Chapter 4 A crack in the facade

They were going to the Forbidden Forest. They'd been told that they're old and experienced enough to go and find the plants in groups of two or three, they were given lists of the plants and descriptions of what kind of places they would most likely be found. They were expected back in the newly build greenhouse in two hours. Harry was walking side by side with Malfoy, who was already complaining about the weather, he thought it was too warm. "Take your cloak off." Harry tried to give him advice.

"That's a bit naughty coming from an innocent Gryffindor." Malfoy smiled and Harry found himself blushing.  
"You know what I meant. Fine, don't complain about the warmth then."

Neither of them was irritated with each other and Harry was mildly surprised by that. It almost seemed like Malfoy was doing his best in not making Harry get pissed off.  
"What do we have left?" Malfoy asked yawning and Harry got up from the ground and threw hi rucksack on his shoulder.

"Aconite and.. let's see.. uhm.. aconite and dittany."

Malfoy started walking and yawned again, making Harry ask, "Didn't you sleep?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "None of your – What's that?"

Malfoy's voice had changed in the middle of the sentence and when Harry looked up to his face, there was panic written all over his face. Harry turned his head quickly to the direction Malfoy was pointing and there was something moving.

"What's that? Potter, what is that?" Malfoy's voice was shaky.

Harry already pulled his wand out, after spotting a big form of something, and said, "I don't know but it probably saw us since it's coming this way. Get your wand out."  
The creature was big and black, reminding Harry of a werewolf or a massive gorilla and it was taking huge, fast steps towards them.

Malfoy seemed frozen but did eventually pull the wand from his pocket. "Where's everyone else?" Malfoy was asking. Harry's voice was determined,

"I've no idea. But.. it's.. it's massive, I don't know if we can stun it, I think we should just - RUN!"

Harry already started to run when he noticed Malfoy didn't move. The creature was getting near, way too fast, Harry could see the big black eyes and Harry quickly pulled Malfoy's arm, "Run!"

Automatically Harry was shouting and pointing his wand, "_Stupefy! Petrificus totalus!" _

He missed both times, and was pushing Malfoy who still didn't move, Harry heard himself shout once again, "Run! Now, Malfoy, move!"

He was desperately pulling the boy's arm harder and harder, the blond seemed paralysed, his face white and Harry thought he was going to faint. "_Stupefy!"_ Harry shouted again and finally the creature flew on his back, it was only about ten meters from them.

"Come on, let's go!" Harry pulled Malfoy's arm and finally the boy was walking, but his steps were slow, too slow but Harry didn't have enough time to ask, he turned around to the creature and pointed his wand at it and said, "_Obliviate!" _He knew he hit the target and sighed.

Then he concentrated on dragging Malfoy with him, pulling him along like dead weight. They were walking too slowly, they had only been walking about twenty meters when the creature started grunting.

Harry pulled Draco behind a tree, pushed him gently against the trunk and whispered, "Look at me."

The boy did, but his grey eyes were filled with pure panic, the colour of the eyes was too bright, pupils too narrow. Harry whispered, "Don't make a sound, don't say anything, not a word. Nod if you understand me."

Draco nodded and Harry whispered, "Now you have to do everything I say, okay?"

Draco nodded again. Harry's brain was under an adrenaline attack and his thoughts were running fast, telling him there was definitely something wrong with Malfoy, and they couldn't run away right now, he acted on instinct and took a grip of Malfoy's arm. The boy's fingers were white, death grip around his wand.  
"Sit down." Harry whispered and pulled Malfoy down against the trunk.  
Malfoy sank down slowly, like his body was petrified somehow, and automatically pulled his legs up against his chest. Harry sat right next to him, back against the tree trunk and pulled his legs up too and then pulled a fabric out of his bag and showed it to Malfoy and whispered, "You know what this is?"

Malfoy nodded. Harry threw the invisibility cloak over them and whispered, "Come closer."

Harry had to make sure their legs didn't show under the cloak, but now he was merely surprised about the fact, that Malfoy actually got himself look unbelievably small. All of a sudden Malfoy had turned around and now his bent knees were against the tree and his face was pressed tightly against Harry's chest and his arms were around Harry.

Harry blinked, too bewildered to react or say anything, and the blond boy's fingers were clawing the skin on his back painfully hard. How the boy had managed to get the fingers between the trunk and his back was a mystery, and apparently even under Harry's shirt, at least it felt like the fingers were pressing the skin and not the fabric, because it hurt. It was getting hard to breathe because the boy was squeezing his torso so tightly.  
Finally he put his arms around the boy, still holding his wand ready in case the creature was after them. Harry had no idea what it was, he'd never seen a creature like that. Harry tried to listen, he could hear steps in the dry, fallen autumn leaves but he wasn't sure which way the steps were going.  
What if the creature could smell them?

Harry could imagine how amazed the creature must've been, suddenly waking up in the forest and not remembering what had happened the moment before.  
Then he heard the steps fade away and was pretty certain that whatever it was, was gone now. Still, he wasn't going to take any risk by running anywhere right now.

No, it would be better if they stayed right here for a moment, and then he would have to find out what was wrong with Malfoy and then they could walk back to school with the invisibility cloak on. Yes, that was the best plan Harry's could think of. He looked at his watch, they had been almost two hours in the forest and they would have to go back soon or otherwise people would come and look for them. Well, maybe that wasn't a bad thing. What's that smell? Smells nice. Must be Malfoy's hair.

He took a deep breath and whispered, "Malfoy, you're okay."

The boy didn't move. Harry stroke his back a bit and said again, "Malfoy?"

Still no change. Harry straightened his legs and relaxed. He ended up hugging Malfoy and stroking his back. They stayed like that what felt like more than ten minutes. Finally the fingers that had clawed his back loosened their grip and he felt the boy taking a deep breath. Harry said, "We're okay. We can go now, we'll be okay."

Harry could clearly feel when Malfoy finally relaxed and then the boy asked with a thick voice, "Are you sure it's gone?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Do you think you can walk?"

Malfoy got up in a quick movement and when the cloak and the boy left Harry's embrace, he shivered with the sudden coldness of the air. He could only see Malfoy's legs, 'cause the cloak had gone with him.  
"Yes." Malfoy's thick invisible voice said and Harry got up and stretched his legs.

"Are you going to wear that?" Harry asked smiling. The answer was the same, "Yes."

"Okay. Now let's see. _Point me!" _Harry's wand rolled around on his hand and pointed to right.

"Alright, let's go."

Harry started walking but said, "It's weird when I don't see you, can you either talk to me or touch me?"

A hand gripped the hem of his shirt in the back and Harry started walking. He scratched his chest with his right hand and realised the shirt was damp. It wasn't even damp, it was wet, but only on one part. He almost stopped walking when he realised Malfoy had been crying. And that must be why he wanted to wear the cloak! He was embarrassed to show his face.

The walk took about ten minutes and Harry was relieved when he saw the end of the forest ahead of them. He said, "I want to talk to you when we get back."

He didn't receive an answer. Hermione and Ron were standing on the yard, near to the edge of the forest and they spotted Harry fairly quickly.  
"Harry! Finally! We've been looking for you! Where's Malfoy?"  
The hand let go off Harry's shirt.  
"I'm right here, Granger." Malfoy sneered, clearly on Harry's left side and sounded surprisingly much like himself.

Ron muttered, "I can see a part of your shoe. Why are you wearing the cloak?"

Malfoy's voice was cold, "Because the savior of the Wizarding world, the Boy-Who-Lived here, saved my life again and I know he's going to rub it in my face so I thought the cloak would make the rubbing a bit more difficult."

Harry frowned but didn't have enough time to say anything because Hermione was so worried, "What? What happened?"

Harry muttered, "There was this creature, some sort of animal or something, but it wasn't a big deal, really. And I hardly call it saving someone's life if I pull out a cloak and hide underneath it, so don't worry, I don't think I saved you and I wouldn't rub it in your face even if I did."

Harry was glaring at the empty spot on his left side, where Malfoy's voice had just been.

Ron was looking horrified, "A creature? We have to go and tell McGonagall, I knew we shouldn't have gotten into the forest in the first place!"

"No!" Harry said. "Look, it's nothing and I really just want to go upstairs and get a nap, I have a headache. Can you go and tell Sprout that you saw us, so she doesn't worry. I can't stand her voice right now and I don't feel like explaining why we're late, so... just make up something, please."

Hermione nodded before Ron had time to say anything. "Okay, we'll do that. We'll see you guys later then." Hermione was already pulling Ron towards the greenhouse and Harry started walking up towards the castle.

"You know, everyone can see your legs." Harry said, although he didn't even see them at the moment.

"No they can't if I walk like this." Came the reply and Harry looked, of course seeing nothing and burst out laughing trying to imagine what was going on under the cloak.

"Hey Harry!" Came a voice suddenly. Oh god, Harry had forgotten she existed.  
"Hi Ginny!" Harry's laughter disappeared like it hadn't even been there, he felt Malfoy's cloak covered arm brushing against his and automatically pressed his arm against the invisible one for mental support.

Ginny was smiling a broad smile, "So Harry, have you been thinking about what I said?"

Harry was hesitating, "I…I uhm... yeah, I've been thinking but… Ginny, I can't."

Harry looked down, he couldn't look Ginny in the eyes. He could feel how Ginny had frozen on that spot. She asked, voice calm but cold, "Harry? What do you mean?"

Harry had to use all of his mental strength to get the words out, "Look… I just can't. You have to find someone else. I can't. I'm sorry."

Ginny was clearly irritated but trying to hide it, "Right. Do you have a reason?"

Harry shook his head, "No. I just can't, I'm sorry. Can we be friends?"

Now Harry looked Ginny in the eyes and she stared right back, but her face was cold,

"Okay. I have to go."

Then she walked briskly away.  
Harry blinked. He'd done it. He'd said it. Easy.

"Come on, stay right behind me so that no-one walks on you" Harry said to the invisible boy and walked up the stairs, into the hall, and then up the stairs, several staircases, right up 'till the armor in the sixth floor and said, "Ginger"  
The armor jumped out of the way, revealing a door, Harry opened it and got in and walked straight to the next room and into their tent.

As soon as they were in the tent, the invisible voice said,  
"I'll never give this back to you." The voice came from somewhere behind Harry and Harry turned around.

"I was just about to tell you to take it off." Harry said amused, but trying to sound determined.

"Oh I don't think I will. All the possibilities I could've had years back, had I had this then." The voice was taunting, walking a circle around Harry and Harry didn't bother to move.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm serious, take it off." Harry sounded serious this time.

"Make me." Said the voice, too close to Harry's right ear, and Harry quickly jumped after the voice and met the invisible barrier right away. There was a loud thud when they flew to the floor and the cloak revealed a torso without a head and Harry quickly moved the fabric away from the face and stared in the grey eyes. Malfoy was smiling and then he started laughing. Harry couldn't resist and gave into the laughter himself, wondering if he'd ever heard the Slytherin laugh before.

"You're impossible, you know that?" Harry said when he managed to stop laughing. He sat up but didn't get away from Malfoy's stomach.  
"Yeah, I know. And you're heavy." Malfoy pushed Harry's thighs and wriggled underneath him trying to get a better position.

"I want to talk to you about what happened." Harry's voice was suddenly quiet.

The amused expressions vanished from Malfoy's face, eyes suddenly freezing cold he said, "No."

"Yes. I want to know. I need to know what that was about. So just… tell me." Harry insisted, although Malfoy's sudden mood change brought cold shivers down his back, and not in a good way.

Malfoy shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Oh come on, don't start now. Look at me." Harry said and took the boy's pointy chin between his thumb and index finger. Draco opened his eyes and Harry let go off the chin.

"I don't want to talk about it." Malfoy said, voice cold.

"Look. I just.. I want to know what happened when you couldn't move. Did you panic?"

Malfoy avoided Harry's gaze but Harry was determined and reached his fingers to the chin again but Malfoy threw the hand away and said, "Don't."  
So Harry waited, trying to be patient and then Malfoy muttered,

"Yes."

"Has it happened before?" Harry noticed how worried his voice sounded like. Malfoy still wouldn't meet his eyes but then shook his head and said, "No."

"Are you sure this was the first time?" Harry tried to read the blond's face, but the usual façade was on its place, not giving anything out.

"Yes, as far as I remember."

Harry didn't answer, he didn't really know if he believed the boy or not but Harry thought this was a sign of something bigger, there must be something wrong.

"When was the last time you've aimed a curse at someone?" Harry asked, voice soft and calming.

Draco shifted underneath him and still didn't look at Harry, "The War."

Harry shifted too, just to ease the weight on the other, and then said after a brief silence, "I think that… I think that you've had too much of... everything. Am I right?"

Malfoy closed his eyes but nodded.

"Is that why you're not sleeping that well?" Harry asked, knowing that it might be any minute now that the ex-Death Eater would burst into angry shouts.

Malfoy didn't move but then came the answer, "I don't want to talk about it. Not with you"

Harry frowned, "What's wrong with me?"

Malfoy smiled a little, "There's plenty of things wrong with you, Potter, but the answer you're looking for is that… you're you."

Harry asked, "I'm me? And what does that mean? You don't trust me, is that it?"

The blond could clearly hear the small hint of irritation in Harry's voice, because the smile stayed clued on the lips, "Oh, I do trust the fact, that you won't tell anyone about my secrets. I know how bloody loyal you are to your friends and I believe what you said, that you want to be my friend."

"What is it then?" Harry tried to keep his voice calm.

The head turned, and the eyes opened, grey meeting the green ones, "Because you're the opposite of me. You're everything I'm not."

Harry felt like he was drowning again in those eyes. He couldn't think of anything to say. He tried to think of something, but all the words got stuck in his throat. He knew this was important. He swallowed. He didn't know where the words came from when he asked,

"Is that why you've always hated me?"

Something heavy was ripping his insides, making it difficult to breathe. Almost like an iron fist grabbing and pulling some part of him underneath his skin. The grey eyes were burning a hole inside him,

"Possibly."

Harry couldn't look away although it was getting more difficult to breathe by the minute.

He should say something, but there was something in his throat, preventing all talking, so he shifted his leg over the blond Slytherin, getting down on the floor, away from the boy and he lay down beside Malfoy, staring at the ceiling.

Neither of them moved nor said anything for a while.

So… what did that sentence actually mean? Did it mean Malfoy wanted to be like him, was he envious, jealous of who he was? That could make sense in very twisted way, maybe, although,

"Did you mean you'd rather be like me? Or that you envy my life? I can't understand why because my life has been pretty horrible most of the time."

The answer came soon, it was cold but not as cold as it could've been, "I don't know that. I only know that you… you're this unbreakable superwizard who beats an unforgivable from the cradle, and who kills the Dark Lord in the age of - You've had everything! Everyone loves you! The whole wizarding world is always on its knees in front of you. It makes me sick!"

Harry swallowed, usually he was angry hearing this stuff but now it felt different, "I didn't want my life. I've been the target of a certain master killer wizard all my life until now. I was a horcrux, that bastard lived inside me and I had to walk to my own death to kill him. I don't have parents. My childhood sucked. My life isn't perfect, but what can I do, when everyone expects me to be someone, something I'm not. I'm just a boy, an ordinary boy, who just happened to have a very twisted life. And all the admiring and stuff, I hate it, I don't deserve it and I don't want it. It makes me sick too. "

Malfoy didn't argue and Harry knew something had changed between them. Something big, that couldn't be clearly described with words. Harry took a look at the boy next to him. The face wasn't cold.

Then Harry asked him, "Do you still hate me?"

Malfoy turned to look at him, "Yes. And no. Things aren't that black and white anymore."

Harry got up and offered his hand, "Come, the floor is too hard."

Malfoy accepted the hand and got up and Harry pulled him by his bed. Harry lay down on the right side of the bed, next to the wall and patted the empty space on his side. Malfoy blinked and stared at him in disbelief for a long time but Harry simply stared back with determination.

Malfoy muttered, "This day is just too strange."  
Then he stared some more, shook his head and said, "This is the most absurd day of my whole life."  
But then he lay down and they were both quiet and staring at the ceiling.

After a moment Malfoy said, "I never talk this much."

Harry glanced at him, "I'm glad you did."

There was some irritation in Malfoy's voice, "I'm not. I didn't want to talk. I don't know how you do it, you make me feel like you're reading me like an open book, I don't like that. You must think I'm weak and pathetic. I bet you're laughing inside your head."

Harry turned to his side facing Malfoy, watching at the boy's eyelashes, and said,

"No, I honestly don't. You're always acting so cool, like nothing can touch you. Now I'm just relieved that there's actually a real, feeling boy underneath that tough surface. I think that today proved me right. I really do want to be friends with you."

The Slytherin turned to look at Harry in the eyes, "If you ever remind me of telling you all that, then I'll kick your ass, Potter."

Harry gave him a little smile. Malfoy continued, "Besides I hate crying and I can't believe you made me do it, and it's your fault, so you owe me one."

"Me? I did that?" Harry's eyebrows shot up, but Malfoy didn't answer so Harry sighed and asked,  
"I owe you? Well… what do you want then?"

Draco stared at him right in the eyes, narrowing them a bit, trying to look threatening but Harry couldn't think he'd ever be scared of Draco Malfoy. He just stared so long that Harry felt nervous. "What?" Harry finally asked. But he still couldn't tear his eyes away.

Suddenly Malfoy grabbed a tight grip on Harry's shirt, near the neck and said in a calm voice, "Stay still."

And Harry stayed, he didn't even try to get the hand away. The green eyes held the grey ones and there was something moving behind the grey eyes, almost like storm clouds, an emotion Harry couldn't fathom.

"You asked me about my sleeping habits. You're right. I don't sleep too much. But you don't need to know more than that. I'm telling you this because I discovered something today. Something that I assume might make me fall asleep. And you're going to give it to me. From now on, if you ever make me cry again, then you'll going to give me what I need in order to get some sleep. Understood?"

Harry nodded, then asked, "Yeah. What is it you want?"

Malfoy let go of the shirt and asked, "What time is it?"

Harry showed his watch to the boy, "Seven. We're missing dinner if we don't go right now."

Malfoy got up and said, "I'll show you. At eleven tonight. And you must be on this exact spot by then."

Harry nodded and they left together for dinner.


	5. Fingerprints

Hi guys, there's author's (my) notes in the end of the chapter, you can roll down to see them now or after reading this chapter.

Chapter 5 Fingerprints

Harry had done his homework and went to play exploding snap with Ron and Blaise before it was time to go to sleep. It was almost eleven and he had no idea what he should be expecting from Malfoy. He was quite happy though. He thought he had made a lot of progress today concerning Malfoy and he was now assured that the blond Slytherin was just the type of refreshing spice to his life he needed. He almost couldn't admit to even himself that life had been a bit too peaceful during the summer. Although he had always waited for the moment when Voldemort was dead and he could finally live his own life, and make it as normal as possible, he simply couldn't live like that. With Ginny, getting married, having children – NO – He had thought he wanted it, but he knew better now.

When he got back to the tent, Malfoy was already there, wearing a white t-shirt and black underwear (probably high quality and expensive, Harry thought). Harry changed his clothes quickly before sitting on his bed. Wasn't this the exact spot Malfoy had wanted him to be at eleven.

He looked at Malfoy, waiting for something to happen. The Slytherin was sitting on his own bed, a mirror of Harry in the position, looking at Harry, who waited and stared, finally breaking the silence, "You wanted something?"

Malfoy got up, took slow, confident steps 'till he reached Harry's bed and stopped right in front of Harry, his knees almost brushing Harry's.  
"Lie down." The blond ordered and Harry did, although he wanted to ask what was going on. When Harry was lying on his back, Malfoy looked at him for a moment, almost like measuring something, his eyes wondering up and down the body.  
"Stay where you are, don't move." Malfoy said, voice confident and strong, but not loud, and Harry obeyed.

Then in one swift movement he grabbed Harry's glasses and put them in the night table and turned off the light ("_Nox_"). Then he climbed to Harry's bed, on Harry's right side and moved slowly, watched Harry in the eyes before turning his head to the opposite direction and lay his head down to Harry's chest.  
"What are you – "  
Harry couldn't finish the sentence, because Malfoy's fingers clapped over his lips, "Shut up, Potter, no talking. Good night."

Then the fingers were gone, leaving a tingly feeling on the lips. Malfoy moved slowly, shifting, curling against Harry's side, finding the most comfortable position, pressing his ear against Harry's chest and Harry realised that his heart was beating wickedly just underneath Malfoy's head. He took a couple of slow breaths, trying to order his heartbeats to slow down. Then he willed himself to calm down, reassuring thoughts flying inside his head, like: it's only Malfoy, we're friends now, he's got issues and can't sleep and - . He tried to relax, but felt a bit nervous, not feeling too sleepy at all.

Just when he had finally managed to make all his muscles relax and his eyes closed, feeling calm and good, Malfoy shifted his leg and his knee brushed against Harry's shin and the dark haired boy opened his eyes, he could feel how his heartbeats doubled and tried to make it slow down by telling himself he should stay calm.  
He noticed how he had forgotten to breathe and felt humiliated when he took a deep breath, knowing that a certain blond boy could hear his every heartbeat and every breath. He could almost feel Malfoy's hair on his chin, he could smell the boy, _yes, it was Malfoy's hair and probably some super expensive hair products_. Then he finally relaxed, inhaling the scent, it was a nice smell, not at all like those girly smells one specific redhead occasionally wore back then when they were together. No, this was much nicer, familiar in a way but at the same time exciting and new.

He was just on the verge of falling asleep when he realised it;  
Malfoy was sleeping. Peacefully and breathing quietly, all relaxed and heavy on Harry's chest.

And what a day they'd had together; an ugly creature in the woods, Malfoy panicking, deep conversations, and then finally having the ex-Death Eater sleeping on top of him.  
Unbelievable. Absurd. And it felt good.

He felt sorry for Malfoy, thinking about how the boy had been paralysed, all white and not moving, then the fingers pressing the skin in Harry's back, almost like he had wanted to claw his way inside Harry, and he'd been crying at that time too. Why had he said it had been Harry's fault? And the nightmares, the way he said he wasn't seeping much, the way he had looked tired earlier. And how little friends and family he had left when Crabbe was dead, Goyle missing or dead, Pansy abroad, and his father in Azkaban. Harry's chest ached. Malfoy had too many problems, too much of everything, even now that the war was over and Voldemort was gone.

Draco Malfoy was clearly broken on the inside, just trying not to let it show on the outside. And Harry had been trying to break the surface by asking questions until the boy had talked about his feelings. It would do him good, Harry thought, Malfoy needed to talk, and not just plaster the façade over the problems again and again. Call it hero intuition - Harry wanted to save the boy. And today he sort of had, because the boy was safely asleep now.  
Harry sighed, satisfied for once, and fell asleep.

The next morning Harry woke up before the default wake up spell he always had on his wand went on. Malfoy was still right there, on his arms, sleeping, breathing deeply. Harry felt content, inhaling the scent of the blond hair. He moved his head, just enough to feel the hair with his chin, it felt soft against his skin. Then the wake up spell ruined the moment by vibrating on the table, and then making the beeping sound of a muggle alarm clock, and Malfoy jumped up bewildered and asking, "What's that?"

Harry crawled past the boy to the night table and grabbed the wand, which immediately stopped both the vibrating and the beeping. "It's the wake up alarm."

Malfoy rubbed his eyes and looked at Harry frowning, "Am I hallucinating?"  
Harry grabbed his glasses, put them on and gave a small smile, "No, you're not"

The blond Slytherin looked around almost like he didn't know where he was, and then he said, "I slept."

Harry grinned, "Yeah, I know. We have to go or otherwise we miss the breakfast."

Malfoy yawned, and stretched his arms and asked, "What time it is?"

"Half past seven."

The blond eyebrows shot up and then the boy jumped out of the bed, almost screaming, "It can't be! I'll never make it to Potions in time!"

Harry laughed, but the other boy was already pacing to his cupboard, pulling out clothes and muttering something that sounded like 'bloody Gryffindor' and then heading to the bathroom and shut the bathroom door with a loud bang. Harry got up and went to shower.

As he was getting dressed, the mirror commented, "You have bruises on your back." Harry turned around and tried to see his back, yes, there were bruises, the shape of fingerprints, Malfoy's fingerprints. Soon he was already ready to head to breakfast, the school bag on his shoulder and calling for the boy who hadn't cast the wall this time, "Malfoy!"

The blond opened the bathroom door but didn't come out, "What?"

"We have to go now." Harry said patiently.

"Argh! I'm not ready! I have to skip the breakfast." The voice sounded distracted.

"What are you doing for so long?" Harry asked wondering.

"My hair, you idiot." The voice sounded irritated.

Harry laughed but then asked, "You know what? I could grab you something so that you can eat during Potions."

It was silent for a minute before, "Apples, only green ones."

"Alright. See you in class, I'll keep you a seat next to mine."

There was no answer so Harry left the tent smiling.

Zabini came to him as soon as Harry had entered the Great Hall, "Where's Draco?"

Harry smiled, "He's skipping breakfast and going straight to potions, but don't worry, I promised I'd bring him some food to the class."

Zabini frowned, "Why's he skipping breakfast?"

Harry answered, "Um... I woke him up too late and instead of breakfast he wanted to do his hair or something."

Zabini's mouth fell open, "You woke him up?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "Well yeah, why?"

Zabini closed his mouth, "Are you sure he was asleep?"

Harry blinked, "Of course I am. Why are you so surprised?"

Zabini shook his head, "I'm not. He's just usually an early bird so I was just wondering."

Zabini turned to leave but then turned around, "So did you get him to talk?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know, maybe. But I'll pay you back for your advice anyways so tell me, what do you want in return?"

Zabini answered, "Hmm… Did he talk about his feelings?"

Harry frowned, "His feelings about what?"

Zabini shrugged, "About anything…"

Harry hesitated but answered with a determined voice, "Maybe. Look, if he did, then I'm not going to talk about it to anyone, not even you."

All of a sudden Zabini was smiling, "Good. Well then there's only one thing I want you to do. Do whatever you did to make him talk and then do exactly what you're doing right now, keep those things to yourself."

Harry nodded, "I'll do my best."

Blaise shook his head, like in disbelief and was still smiling when he returned to his seat in the Slytherin table.

"What was all that about?" Ron asked as soon as Harry sat down next to him.

"Oh nothing, he was just wondering where Malfoy was." Harry took a piece of toast and realised how hungry he was. He put some green apples to his bag and poured himself some tea when he heard Seamus' voice, "Hey Harry, where's ye roommate?"  
Seamus was grinning and Harry answered, "Why's everyone asking that? I'd promised to wake him up but I'd forgotten he needs more time in the mornings so he's just skipping breakfast."

The small lies came out Harry's mouth so automatically he didn't even have to think about them.

Seamus started laughing, "Aye, right, knew it, mo' time fer his hair, gays are so vain…"

Harry choked on his tea and coughed before asking, "What? Gay?"

Seamus laughed even harder, "Don't say ye didn't know!"

Harry looked at Seamus and then Ron and blinked in confusion, "Did you know he was gay?"

Ron nodded, "Yup. I thought you knew."

Then Harry looked at Hermione, "Did you know too?"

Hermione seemed embarrassed, "I'm sorry Harry, I too thought you knew. I would've told you if I knew you didn't know. I'm sorry."

Harry blinked and tried to eat his toast but suddenly the toast got stuck in his throat and tasted bad and he wasn't hungry anymore. He felt like he couldn't hear anything anymore, the whole hall seemed to become invisible. He was barely aware what he was doing when he got up and walked away, and down the stairs, through the door, outside, to the lake and sat down on a rock.  
He took a couple of deep breaths. The air didn't really reach his lungs in the right way and it didn't clear his thoughts at all either.

He was shivering but couldn't really notice whether it was shining or raining, because his mind was too occupied.  
_It can't be true. There's no way Malfoy's gay, right?_ It couldn't be true. Surely they all had been mistaken. It was less than an hour ago he'd been lying there, all warm and cozy and he could still feel Malfoy's weight on his skin. He rubbed his nose, he could still smell that hair, _oh God, this wasn't really happening._

How long had Ron and Hermione known? Why had no-one told him? No-one! And everyone else seemed to know. This was a big deal! This was almost the same as if someone had forgotten to tell him Voldemort actually had one more horcrux hidden somewhere!

Ron was looking at Malfoy. Slughorn hadn't come yet.

"Hermione, I have to go and tell him." Ron whispered.  
Hermione looked at him meaningfully, "I can go too if you don't want to."  
Ron shook his head, "No, I'll go."  
Ron walked to Malfoy, who was sitting in the back of the class, reading his potions book.

Ron stuttered a bit, unsure of how to say what he was thinking, "Um… Malfoy…"  
The aristocratic blond didn't raise his head, "What do you want, weasel?"  
Ron swallowed, "Don't call me that, you ferretboy. I only came to tell you that I think we screwed up."

Malfoy raised his head but didn't look Ron in the face, instead started to inspect his nails,  
"Spit it out, don't waste my time, what have you done now?"

Ron blushed for some inexplicable reason, "We um… I and Hermione thought that Harry knew that… um… that you're gay and apparently he didn't and… we told him. "

Malfoy picked up a quill and turned it around in his fingers and didn't say anything.

Ron swallowed, hoping that the earth would swallow him, "As far as I know, he likes gay people and doesn't have anything against them or anything… he's usually very broadminded. I don't know how he took it though, he left the Great Hall and we don't know where he went."

Ron paused but Malfoy looked almost like he wasn't listening, maybe he wasn't angry after all, who knew what that ferretmind was thinking.

Ron said, "So… I just thought that you might want to know. And… we're sorry in case you wanted to tell it to him yourself, we had no idea he didn't know."

Malfoy didn't move an inch now, still holding the quill between his fingers, there was no expression on his face and he was staring at Blaise's back, who was sitting in front of him.

Ron waited for a reaction but when nothing came, he said, "I'll just… go now."

When Ron returned with a relieved smile back to his seat next to Hermione ("He took it very well"), he heard a sound of something snapping but didn't bother to look for a source for the sound.

Author's notes about this chapter:

First of all, thank you for reading my story this far, I'm glad.  
I haven't had a beta for the chapters I've published and I've been too impatient to wait for anyone to beta these for me, so please forgive me for my errors. If you like, you can always send me personal messages about how I've done, i.e. if there are faults you'd like me to correct, I'd be happy to know about stuff like that.

About this story then:

By far we've been reading mostly what Harry sees and thinks – it is only a guess at this point what's going on with Draco, as we don't know too much about his thoughts or feelings. Harry might be a bit unreliable narrator of the situations since apparently Harry here is quite slow at noticing certain things. Also when Harry is asking himself some questions, it is uncertain whether he's asking himself the right questions.  
I'm looking forward to the chapter where we finally see something from Draco's POV, maybe that will clarify things a bit (or not), since at the moment there seems to be a lot of things going on that seem… hmm… confusing.

Let's read the next chapter, shall we?


	6. Calming the storms

Zinnia says: At this point the characters started to live a life of their own. My fingers were on the keyboard but I was merely a bystander.  
If you want to know more about when I'm publishing something, then I recommend taking a look at my profile page – that's where I'm sending my latest information about things.

Chapter 6 **_Calming the storms_**

He was shivering. The breeze was freezing and he cast a tempus charm, he'd been here for two hours. Slowly he got up and feeling numb walked back in and into the infirmary. He heard himself speak like it was someone else talking, "Madame Pomfrey, I'm feeling sick. I think I might've eaten sweets that were out of date. I had to skip the morning lessons and I don't know if I'm able to go to classes today."

Pomfrey was smiling, "Oh, no need to worry, my dear, I'll give you a note alright."  
She wrote a note and then looked at Harry in the eyes, "I do have a potion for that, you'll be feeling much better soon."

Harry turned to leave and said, "It's fine, I think that I just need to rest for a couple of hours but I'll come back if I'm not feeling better in the evening."

Madame Pomfrey crossed her arms around her waist and muttered, "Alright."

After Harry had left, she talked to herself, "Poor thing, I knew the war was too much for him."

His legs felt heavy and he walked up to the seventh floor. It looked strange, the walls were new. There were paintings on the walls and a small statue in one corner where the corridor took a turn to left. He paced back and forth the corridor, and was furiously thinking: _I need a place where I can deal with this, I need a place where I can deal with this, I need a place where -_

"Mr. Potter." Harry jumped at the familiar voice. Harry looked at the portrait on his right side,  
"Professor Snape."

"I assume you should be at class and not wondering around the castle. You are a student and you do not have a special right to skip classes even if you managed to get rid of the Dark Lord."

Harry clenched his jaw and almost started stuttering when he answered, "Sir, I… There's just something I have to deal with first and then I'll go back to classes."

Severus Snape raised an eyebrow, "And what is this thing you have to deal with, that is more important than receiving education?"

It was only a painting, Harry reminded himself, "It's private and I'd be telling other people's secrets if I told you. I'm looking for the Room of Requirement, do you know if it's still here somewhere?"

Snape stared at him for a moment and said, "Obviously."

Harry looked around the corridor, making sure there was no-one in the sight, "Can you tell me where it is?"

Snape stood up from the chair he'd been sitting on, "I will be meeting you inside."

Then he walked out of the painting, disappearing from sight, and all of a sudden there were door frames surrounding the painting. Harry found a door knob easily and pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The room was dark and smaller than Harry expected. There was a couch and a fireplace and Harry could've sworn they were identical to the ones in their tent. "_Incendio_" Harry pointed his wand at the fireplace and the fire started cracking nicely.

There was a painting above the fireplace and then he heard Snape's voice, "Move, you idiot."

He stared at Snape but then realised that the ex-Potions professor was pushing someone else out of the painting. Harry smiled at the nostalgic feeling.  
Then Snape focused back on Harry and sat down, his robes were twirling a bit, reminding Harry once again of a giant bat.

"Lie down, Mr. Potter and let your thoughts float freely."

"Thanks" Harry answered automatically and did exactly like he was being told to. The warmth of the fire felt nice, he felt relaxed and good. He still felt Malfoy's smell in his nose and didn't know whether it was comforting or disturbing.

Why was he reacting this way? Surely it wasn't a big deal, was it?

What if someone else was gay. Like Seamus. It would be totally fine. Or Neville. Or anyone.  
But Malfoy.

There was something wrong with the whole thing, but he couldn't put his finger on it. What was it? He was clearly missing something important.

"So how's my godson doing?" Harry nearly jumped when Snape suddenly talked.

"Who's your godson, Sir?" Harry was interested, happy to get a distraction to get his mind out of Malfoy.

"Draco Malfoy, of course, didn't you know that?" Severus was drawling, clearly enjoying Harry's reaction, who gasped in surprise.  
This couldn't be happening. What?  
Was the whole world making fun of him? Even paintings were scheming behind his back!

"Well I guess I should've known!" Harry crossed his arms over his stomach and closed his eyes in irritation.

Snape was quiet for a while before asking, "Is he alright?"

"Yes, unless he's starved before lunch. I don't want to talk about him, alright?" Harry didn't care to hide his anger, because it was only a painting.

"Why would he starve?" Snape asked, interested.

"Because I told him I'd get him apples to potions class but I skipped the lesson! And I said I don't want to talk about him!"

Snape didn't say anything so Harry tried to calm down. He was already wondering whether he should go, but he didn't want to talk to anyone right now and he didn't want to run into anyone by accident in the corridors. It was bad luck, that he hadn't even taken his invisibility cloak with him, it was somewhere under the couch in their tent and he wouldn't go back to the tent right now, no way, what if Malfoy was looking for him?  
What if Malfoy was angry with him?  
Oh god, why did he run out of the Great Hall in the first place?

Snape drawled, "I assume you're thinking about your tent mate."

Harry opened his eyes in surprise and looked at Snape, "Can paintings do legilimens?

Snape's lips curved a bit, "Mr. Potter, once again you surprise me with your foolishness. I'm a painting, not a living wizard but I do see and hear things and I still have the same brain that I had when I was alive."

Harry frowned, "What did I do or say that made you think that… I'm thinking about my roommate?"

Snape answered, "Common sense, Potter. Now are you going to tell me what your problem is, so that we can solve it, and you can go back to your classes and stop bothering me."

Harry looked up the ceiling, considering the offer. Suddenly Snape spoke again,

"I saw you two yesterday. He was wearing your invisibility cloak."

Harry turned his head a bit to see the ex-teacher and said, "Now you have to admit that at least paintings can see through invisibility cloaks."

Snape said, "Yes. I do not know about the other's but I do. It's not that easy, one has to concentrate properly. I did see his left shoe first."

Harry made a small "mhmm" sound but didn't bother to answer properly.

"Okay, I'll tell you. We've been trying to get along with him. And we did. But today I somehow overreacted to something and… now I just feel like… I don't know why my thoughts are this one big blurry mess and my feelings are a whirlpool and I can't seem to make any sense of them. So… I'm just waiting for my thoughts to clear up so that I can go back and find out how big a mess I've created by escaping the situation."

Snape drawled, "Don't tell me he kissed you."

Harry sat up and pulled his knees up against his chest and frowned, "NO! Of course not!"

Snape's lips were curving upwards, "Why are you blushing?"

Harry was shouting, "I'm not blushing! It's the god damn fire!"

"No need to be touchy, Potter." Harry glared at the man, who was clearly enjoying the situation.

"Just make sure you don't hurt him, he's been through a lot." Snape said, his tone was serious now.

"ME? How could I hurt him? Haven't I been through a lot? It's not like he's some fragile china vase, now is he?"

"Well… just remember that you need him more than he needs you." Snape's tone hadn't changed.

Harry's eyebrows shot up, "Why would I need him?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? You would die out of boredom in two months without him."

Harry got up and grabbed his bag, "Thanks professor, you didn't help me at all."

"I believe I did, and you'll come back and thank me eventually." Snape gave a curt smile and stepped out of the frame.

Harry marched to the door and soon he was marching along the corridor angrily. Why was he so mad?

He was so angry about Snape's words and the fact that he could still taunt him even when he was dead, that he ended up walking to the tent, not even thinking about Malfoy anymore.

As soon as he sat down to his bed he realised where he was. He felt like a bucket of cold water had been just poured all over him and the nice warmth of the fireplace in the Room of Requirement was washed away.  
But there was the fireplace in their tent. And it was lit. Why was it lit?  
And the Malfoy wall wasn't there.  
He tensed, his skin went into goose bumps and he took a look at the watch. It was three and the last class had ended fifteen minutes ago. He closed his eyes, tried to listen, his senses becoming alert and sensitive but his own heartbeats were too loud and he couldn't concentrate.

_I can feel him_, he thought, I know he's here. He pulled out the Marauder's map from the box underneath the bed and put it in his pocket. Then he quickly walked to the bathroom and hastily closed the door after him.

He glanced around the bathroom and took a deep breath, and then another. Knowing he was completely paranoid he spread his arms and walked like that through the bathroom from one door 'till the other, and then sighed. He pulled out the Marauder's map, tapped his wand against it and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."  
Immediately the parchment was beginning to fill with corridors and names. His heart was beating, he was nervous and finally he saw it, their tent, and look, there it was, Draco Malfoy was inside the tent!  
"Mischief managed."

Harry walked out of the bathroom and over to his writing desk, not even bothering to take a look at the seemingly empty tent. He took a quill and a parchment and wrote down, "The question of the day: Why am I overreacting?"  
Then he took another piece of parchment and wrote, "How come I'm the only one who didn't know? Why am I so blind? Nobody told me, why?"  
And another, "Does it matter? It shouldn't matter. Does it matter because it's him? And if it matters, then why?"  
Another, "What I do know is that I don't hate him. I want to be his friend. I'm not afraid of him, not even now. But I'm nervous, why is that?"

He put the parchments in a line on the table right in front of him and leaned his both hands on the table, staring at the parchments. He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. All he had to do was wait.  
He took a deep breath, and finally, he could smell him. His skin went into goose bumps and all the hair in his neck stood up. He held his breath, his heart was speeding up too fast.

He whispered, "I can feel you."  
Of course there was no answer, he wasn't waiting for one.  
He turned slowly around and looked at his own arms, and tried to stroke the goose bumps away.

Then he closed his eyes and lifted his chin a bit and took silent deep breaths, waiting his senses to tell where the invisible boy was. There was no sign.  
Then he whispered, "I know you're here, I feel you."

He waited but nothing happened so he opened his eyes, nothing.  
He frowned and turned back towards the table and put his glasses back on. He put the parchments in different order, moving their places, thinking, trying to find a pattern, in vain.  
Then he took another parchment and wrote, "I should tell him I'm sorry. I should tell him it's not his fault that I'm stupid and overreacting."  
Then he wrote another one, "Snape was absolutely right. I should thank him."

Then he said aloud, "Actually, I might go and see him right now."

He turned and left, walking slowly through the empty common room, everyone must be out again, weird, he walked right back to the portrait of Snape and started pacing, thinking furiously,_ I need to find a place where I can sort this out alone with Malfoy, I need to find a place where I can sort this out alone with Malfoy, I need a place where - _

"Here again, Mr. Potter", Snape was back in the painting and Harry stared him in the eyes, Snape frowned and his eyes went over Harry's right shoulder before returning into Harry's eyes.

"Sir, you were absolutely right about… him. You were right, thank you. Can you let me in?" Harry asked politely.

"Certainly." Snape nodded once and the door frames became visible again. Harry looked in both directions in the corridor, there was nobody in sight and opened the door, stepping inside, leaving the door open behind him. "WOW" He said aloud, he was standing on a green grass, it was a field and the sun was shining and there was no wind, and the sun didn't warm his skin, they were only charms but it was beautiful nevertheless. He took several deep breaths and then finally stepped back and closed the door.

Suddenly happy he walked further away and sat down on the grass. He couldn't smell anything but he touched the grass with his fingers and listened, the grass made a small sound underneath his fingers. Happily he lay down and closed his eyes. Soon he could hear it: steps in the grass.  
The steps were careful and slow, reminding Harry of tip toeing.

Then they stopped somewhere near, possibly on the right side, Harry wasn't sure. So Harry risked it and said, "Lie down."  
Yes, it was on the right side, the movement on the grass.  
"I feel stupid talking to you when I don't see you." The dark haired boy said. There was no answer.

"I forced you to talk yesterday, about things. So I guess it's fair if I talk to you now. Feel free to force me."

An invisible boy suddenly climbed on top of Harry's stomach and the long legs came visible from underneath the cloak.  
"I want to see you." Harry said reaching his hand to the hem of the cloak and pulled. Now there was a blond Slytherin with bright grey eyes sitting on his stomach in a green grass field.

"You know what I want?" Malfoy asked, there was a small frown on his forehead.  
"What?" Harry's heartbeats speeded up and he instinctively bit his lower lip.

Malfoy reached his fingers and grabbed Harry's glasses and threw them somewhere over Harry's head.  
When nothing more happened, Harry asked, "Was that it?"

"What were you hoping for then, Potter?" The voice was calm, a bit teasing.

"Nothing. Why did you do that? And did you read the notes on my desk?"

Malfoy shrugged, "I have my reasons, but can't see any reason why I'd bother telling you. But the notes, I did read them, yes. Not that it changes anything, so go on, start talking."

The sun was too bright and it hurt Harry's eyes but he kept them open and stared Malfoy in the eyes:  
"So I must repeat everything I wrote down and everything I've been thinking today? Bloody hell, it's going to take forever, my thoughts are a big blur."

Malfoy grinned, "I know, you're a big mess. Now, talk, can't stay here the whole evening."

Harry sighed. In a way he was happy, because it seemed like Malfoy wasn't too angry with him. And it seemed like if he could now just explain things, then everything might end up well.

"Look, I… I don't know if I can make coherent sentences about the things I'm thinking, because they're chaotic and… I'm not as verbally talented as you are. Don't grin like that, I wasn't joking. Um… this morning when I was eating breakfast, Seamus asked why you didn't come to breakfast and I said I was supposed to wake you up and you needed more time in the morning and I had forgotten that and that's why you decided to skip breakfast…"

Harry paused, waiting for a comment. Malfoy looked serious, "Go on."

"Well then Seamus said something about how gays always do their hair so long and I almost choked on my tea or something, can't remember what, and I asked Ron and Hermione if they knew you were gay and they said yes, and before I knew it, I was outside by the lake realizing that… They hadn't told me, I was the only one who didn't know and… although I usually take things like that very well, I don't have a problem about it or anything, but I feel like it's different.  
I don't know why."

He kept looking into the grey eyes, and receiving no comment he went on,

"There's something I'm not seeing and it confuses me. Then I realised that I had overreacted and I was worried that you might be angry and I didn't want to see anyone before my thoughts had calmed down, but they never really did, but I'm here now. I don't want you to be mad at me, because… I don't know why I'm overreacting, it's my problem but I don't want it to affect anything."

Malfoy was looking somewhere in the distance, or probably just staring into emptiness. Harry didn't know what else to say,

"I'm sorry if I acted like an idiot today, I tend to do that sometimes. I feel like there's something I'm not seeing but… I should be used to that, there's always something I'm not getting."

"I know, you're really thick sometimes." Malfoy answered, but the voice wasn't cruel and Harry smiled suddenly when the grey eyes got back from their trip into the emptiness and met the green ones.

"Why did you throw my glasses away?" Harry asked frowning. Malfoy got up and took the invisibility cloak before he answered, "I'll tell you… later."

Harry got up too and thanked when Malfoy picked up his glasses and gave them back. They started to walk towards the door of the room and Draco asked: "What did Snape tell you, when you said he was right about someone?"

Harry's lips turned upwards, "I'll tell you… later."

Draco looked him in the eyes and frowned, "Right. Let's go to dinner and then homework."

The Great Hall was full with students and Harry knew he would get an interrogation as soon as he sat down. He lifted his both hands in the air and said, "I'm fine, I'm fine, everything's fine."

Luna gave him a smile, although Harry didn't know if she knew about what had happened. Seamus grinned, Ron and Hermione started to apologise immediately. Finally Harry got to ask what he'd been wondering:

"When did the two of you find out?" Harry was starving and ate salmon and potatoes with hurry.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a look before answering simultaneously, "Sixth year."

Harry was looking at them expectantly, "Yeah? Tell me more?"

Hermione said, "Well I heard two girls talking about it in the bathroom, and they weren't even guessing if he could be gay, they were merely saying that it's really true. So I told Ron and Ron said he'd already heard about it many times." Hermione glanced at Ron, who took the turn in the talk,

"I had heard Seamus talking about it with Dean Thomas already weeks before, and I asked if they were sure, and they said they'd known since fourth year, apparently it was some common knowledge we'd missed. Then there was also the fact that I heard Pansy Parkinson talking with Daphne Greengrass, they were talking about it like a weather forecast."

Harry nodded and filled his plate again before asking, "How come I didn't hear about it? Why didn't you guys tell me?"

Hermione shrugged, "Well… we thought you knew, because you know him better than we do and…"

Hermione took a glance at Ron, who was taking a slice of bread.  
"And?" Harry encouraged.

Hermione answered, "You were… a bit obsessed about Malfoy during the sixth year. You were following him around and staring at the Marauder's map the rest of the time, and at the time we thought that maybe… maybe you had a little crush on him or something."

Hermione blushed, and Harry felt his face warm up, he looked at Ron, who was pretending to be eating with great interest although his ears were red.

Finally Harry managed to answer, "Oh. You could've just asked me."

Ron said, "Yeah, we know. Sorry."

Hermione whispered, "Sorry."

Harry simply nodded and continued eating and couldn't look in the Slytherin table although he wanted to. He could still feel Malfoy's fingerprints in his back as bruises.

After dinner Harry went back to the tent and pulled all the necessary books on the table, realizing he didn't know what they had to do for tomorrow. Luckily Malfoy came in and did the same thing and told Harry all about what they'd done during the day.  
After a while Harry asked, "Since you're so good at potions, could you help me with this?"

Malfoy shrugged but moved his chair a bit closer and started explaining, but Harry was soon lost again and instead was listening to Malfoy's voice and wondering how simple he made everything sound. Malfoy sounded like he was talking about things that one can put on top of a sandwich and make it taste good.  
With the exception that he was talking about various potions ingredients and Harry simply couldn't keep up, but it didn't matter because it was nice listening to Malfoy anyway. The way he concentrated, the way the blond hair was now scattered over his forehead, soon it would grow so it would hide his eyes and "And you're not listening at all." Malfoy ended a sentence and looked up from the paper to meet Harry's eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry, I just… you know, I just don't understand. How can you possibly know how many times you must be stirring and in which way and... I don't get it."

Malfoy smiled, a real, honest smile and his voice was very quiet, "So you didn't listen to a word I said. We're not talking about brewing the potions, we're talking about ingredients."

Harry blushed and felt embarrassed, "See! I'm hopeless."

"I don't think you are." Malfoy was still smiling but looked back at the paper and said, "Eyes back on the book, Potter, I'll start from the beginning."

An hour later Harry had been embarrassed about twenty times, 'cause repeatedly Malfoy had lifted his eyes only to find Harry looking at him instead of the notes. But what could he do! Everything related to Potions was impossible, and Malfoy's voice made Harry look at him and absorb the face. He was glad, because they hadn't been fighting today and he felt like they were beginning to be real friends.

When they finally got to charms, they worked separately, which was good, because Harry managed to do all of them in the same amount of time as Malfoy. For some unknown reason they both had taken ancient runes and after doing the homework on it, they finally decided to call it a night.

Harry had to take a shower. He stood there for a longer amount of time than usually, relaxing, trying to wash the remains of today's mess away from his brain. It worked, he felt a lot better after the shower, pulling on a dark blue t-shirt and black underwear.

After collapsing on the bed he looked at Malfoy, who was reading. "What are you reading?"

"Nothing that would interest you." The blond boy was wearing a black t-shirt and… black underwear that had to be some super expensive high quality material, Harry decided, probably very comfortable and soft against the skin and, "Hey Malfoy, what do you do when you don't sleep?"

The Slytherin shrugged, "I don't know. Talk to snakes, the usual."

Harry was thinking for a moment and asked, "How do you talk to snakes? You're not a parselmouth."

Malfoy gave a small laugh and answered, "Of course I could talk to them, but I don't think they'd understand. I was joking."

Harry didn't reply, he was blushing and felt stupid once again. Then Malfoy asked, "Can you still speak parseltongue?"

Harry frowned, "I don't think so. I haven't tried. You didn't answer my question, what do you really do when you're not sleeping? Try not to joke this time."

Malfoy turned a page, "Read. Think. Wait. Repeat."

Harry put his glasses away but turned to his right side, it was nice to watch Malfoy even when he was blurry, "Wait? What are you waiting for?"

Malfoy stood up and went to his desk and picked up some parchment and answered, "The next morning."

Then he lifted the parchment in the air and muttered something with his wand raised up. The paper turned yellow before looking normal again. Then he repeated the same action to another piece of parchment.

"Here's your secret parchment, Potter. Keep it in a safe place."

"Thanks. Um… are you still going to put the wall back?" Harry asked, not knowing where the question had come from.

Malfoy was still standing beside the table, he had put Harry's parchment on Harry's side of the table. The boy shrugged, "Yeah. I can wait until you've fallen asleep, if you prefer it that way."

Harry didn't know what to say. He didn't want the wall back at all. He didn't feel sleepy either. He sighed and asked, "Did you sleep the whole night last night?"

Even without glasses he could see how Malfoy tensed, "Yes."

He wanted to know, even if this was a dangerous direction in the conversation, "You didn't see nightmares?"  
Malfoy shook his head.  
"How often do you see them?" Harry asked, trying to read Malfoy's expressions but not succeeding.

"None of your- "

"Malfoy!"

"All the time. You happy?" The voice was serious, Malfoy was still standing beside the table looking at Harry.

"Could you do it again?" He couldn't watch the boy in the face anymore, but focused on the black chest instead.

"Do what, Potter?" There was a hint of annoyance.

"Sleep," Harry swallowed. The blond boy got rigid and Harry could imagine that the boy was holding his breath.

"What do you mean?" The voice was quieter now.

Harry clenched his jaw. God, this was difficult, "Could you sleep if you slept… with me?"

For a minute Harry thought the boy would sneer, say a rude, sarcastic comment or something else typical for Malfoy. No, none of that shit happened.

"I don't know, maybe. But aren't you still in shock about the fact that I prefer men over women?"

"No!" Harry said and it came out a bit too loud, "I mean, no, I'm not in shock and I'm not bothered by it in any way. It's fine."

Malfoy took a deep audible breath before asking, "You sure you want me in your bed?"

"Yeah," Harry was nervous, but his voice sounded determined.

"Okay," There was nothing readable in the voice but then the boy started walking, he'd been standing so unmoving that it almost looked like he suddenly got free from a petrificus totalus.

He came to Harry's bed and Harry made some room for him. Malfoy lay down just the way the night before but the confidence he had in his movements the night before was gone. Last night he'd been simply doing whatever he pleased, but now the slow movements were more careful, almost hesitant.

"Why'd you leave the light on?" Harry asked before Malfoy could start adjusting and finding the best possible position for himself on Harry's chest. The Slytherin looked him in the eyes, "I wanted to show you what I learned to do when I was ten."  
He raised his hand and snapped his fingers. The lights went out.  
"Cool," Harry said and Draco agreed, "I know."

Suddenly there was only the dim light coming from the ceiling and Malfoy was still watching him, not dropping his head on Harry's chest like Harry thought he would.

_Oh no._ Harry's heart started to beat too fast and he felt like all the blood in his veins had suddenly started racing. He could feel it. His whole body was reacting to the boy's gaze. The adrenaline or something unknown was waking up inside him along with the paralyzing nervousness.  
It was growing. Floating through his body. Making his skin oversensitive. Making his senses alert.

It was getting too much, way too much, "Don't laugh, but are you casting a spell on me right now?"  
Harry asked. His voice sounded strangely hoarse, and he waited for the answer, not really caring what the answer would be, it felt good.

Malfoy lifted both of his hands in the air and asked, "Do you see a wand?"

"No, but… I feel something." Harry said, not knowing how to phrase his thoughts.

"You're feeling a wand?" Malfoy asked, and Harry could tell there was a huge grin on the blond's face. Harry blushed, glad it was dark, "No, you idiot! I'm feeling like you're doing a spell on me."

Malfoy kept staring and then moved, "That's interesting. Maybe I can do some spells I'm not aware of. Shall we find out?"  
He got up a bit, slowly, moved his hands, leaned on them for support.  
"Yeah," Was all Harry could say, he sounded breathless.

He was watching the slow, smooth movements, _almost like a snake_, Harry thought but kept watching the grey eyes which were finally right above him and close, _dark grey like a stormy sea at night_.  
Harry was holding his breath. Malfoy's lips were almost touching his.

"Close your eyes." Soft, slow voice. Almost a whisper. Harry obeyed, and now all the other senses seemed to strengthen even more. The blood was rushing so fast in his veins that he might soon hear it pound in his ears like the ocean waves.  
The lips were saying words, and brushing against Harry's lips, "Remember to breathe."  
Harry inhaled through his parted lips, he felt how he stole the air from the other boy's mouth.

"You know what I noticed last night?" The whisper brushed Harry's lips so nicely, teasing, asking Harry to catch the mouth, almost making Harry beg for more, "What?"  
"Your heart starts beating faster if I touch you."  
How nicely the whisper caressed Harry's lips making him take a deep breath, stealing the warm air from the Slytherin's mouth.  
Harry couldn't think of anything else anymore, his insides were screaming, _kiss me, kiss me_,  
"I know, it's beating way too fast right now."  
Harry's words were a whisper, like a fragile secret.

The blond boy had his hands on both sides of Harry's head but now the right one moved and the fingers caressed Harry's neck before pressing the pulse point, another whisper on Harry's lips, "Yes, I feelt it."

The Gryffindor had problems breathing, trying to prevent himself from moaning. The screaming in his mind was unbearable now, _kiss me, touch me_, and made the boy crane his head a little bit, to get closer to the lips that were teasing him. The feelings were washing over him, making him feel like he needed more, more, making the pit of his stomach ache.

"Will it speed up if I do this?" The words made Harry tense even before there was a touch, a knee on Harry's crotch. Harry's senses were so oversensitive he felt like he was bursting into a flame, barely noticing how pleading and his voice sounded like when he gasped, "Oh God, yes!"

The knee was brushing, pressing, moving and Harry felt like screaming and suddenly realised his voice was speaking even without his permission, begging, "Don't stop, don't stop."

There was only a brief pause in the movement and suddenly the Slytherin had managed to slither his way between Harry's tights, the whole body brushing against Harry's.  
Harry moaned loudly in surprise. He was shivering all over, oversensitive skin begging for more. Before he even knew it, his legs were wrapping themselves around Malfoy's, arms moving own their own accord to wrap around the boy's torso.  
He could barely register the fact his fingers were pulling, scratching and molesting the boy on top of him. The need was making his ears ring, his whole body was begging, aching and arching to press against the boy, to get more, more, "Kiss me"

It came out of Harry's mouth as a gasp against the soft lips. He got what he wanted.  
The lips pressed against his, gently, but he needed more. Harry's left hand had come up, fingers twisting in blond hair, pulling the blond head closer so Harry could drown in that mouth, and he did.  
He couldn't even hear the soft moans that were forming inside his throat, and they kept getting louder and more pleading. _Don't stop, don't stop_. Feelings of need washing over him like huge waves, making him suck that tongue too hard. Nails digging in the fabric of the Slytherin's shirt. Suddenly his mind was exploding, his body was arching underneath the warm body on top of him. He was shaking violently, gasping and stealing the air from the other boy's mouth once again.  
_Yes_, his mind was screaming, _yes_.  
Then he was panting, lips numb against the wet lips, still feeling the strong waves of pleasure and need floating through him. _Malfoy_.

The boy on top him was rocking him. It was like ocean waves too, forcing, drowning Harry, and then Malfoy's face was hidden in Harry's neck. He was shuddering, holding his breath, before releasing his breath, relaxing and panting against Harry's neck.

Harry was still panting too and couldn't think, his brain had turned into hazy mush and he could barely register his fingers, which were aching, because they were still clutching the other boy, arms holding him too tightly.  
No, he couldn't think of anything. He took a deep breath and couldn't move.  
He didn't want to move, ever.

He could feel the other boy's heartbeats against his chest. It felt too good. Everything felt too good, so good it almost hurt.  
He never wanted to move an inch again, he wanted to stay just like this and not think or do anything else, ever.

"Can I borrow your wand to do a cleaning spell before we fall asleep?" The lips were brushing Harry's ears and the whisper was echoing inside his head, but Harry's answer came fast,  
"No, don't move."

Malfoy took a deep breath and seemed to relax even more, his whole weight on Harry.  
Harry finally let his fingers release the furious grip he'd had and instead let his fingers run along the fabric, feeling the warmth underneath it, feeling the sweat that was making the shirt damp and finally he found a good place for his hands underneath the t-shirt in the boy's lower back.

He sighed, satisfied, feeling like this was exactly what he needed.  
Soon he was drifting off, into sleep, but only after he had realised that Malfoy was already sleeping.  
He sighed once more, breathing in the boy's shoulder, the scent made him want to do it all over again. He smiled and let the sleep come, letting it drown him too.


	7. Nameless feelings

Zinnia says: The more you give me reviews, the faster I want to publish the next chapter.  
Thank you for all your comments, they've made me wake up smiling.  
If you feel like being the beta reader for my next chapters, then please do contact me.  
A friend of mine read this chapter and gave some good comments on my writing – Thank you!

Chapters 7

Nameless feelings

The next morning Harry was smiling during breakfast and took a couple of quick glances towards the Slytherin table. He enjoyed the sight of Draco Malfoy, who looked less tired and a lot healthier than he had in the beginning of the week.

The day went on like a routine: the classes, staring at Malfoy's neck when he was listening to Slughorn, working together with Malfoy at Potions, staring at his facial features while the blond was sketching during Binns' class.  
Everyone else was sleeping and Malfoy met his eyes occasionally, giving him a questioning frown or a curt smile, which made Harry's heart skip beats.

After dinner the homework, working together in silence before asking help with potions, listening to Malfoy's voice while watching his lips, eyes, lips, hair and lips, then holding breath when the boy asked, "Are you still with me?"  
Answering "Yeah," while knowing they were talking about two different things and knowing they both knew it.

"Sleep with me?" Harry asked as soon as the homework was done.  
Malfoy looked him in the eyes with a serious face, "I can't. Not tonight."

Stomach dropping in disappointment, "Why not?"

Slytherin sighing and scratching the back of his neck, a defeated voice,  
"It's complicated and I don't want to talk about it. I wish I could, but not tonight."

Harry's gaze dropped to the floor. His feelings were turning into a mess, something aching inside him.  
Then slowly he got up and went to bed, alone, and turned his back at the ex-Death Eater. He tried to sleep, but felt like throwing stuff.

Later on he gave up and sat up in the bed, put the glasses back on and leaned to the wall for support and watched.

The blond was on his left side towards the wall, not facing Harry. Harry didn't know whether he was asleep or not. The Malfoy Wall was back again, cutting the room in half, isolating Harry from the person, whose warmth he was missing.

He soon realised Malfoy was having another nightmare, and walked through the poolroom just to find out that there was a similar Malfoy Wall in front of the bathroom door.

It kept the Gryffindor away, he didn't even know when it had been put there.

He walked back to the main room, took his wand and cast useless spells to break the wall. Of course he didn't succeed but he hoped for a miracle nevertheless.

He gave up and sat back on bed, held the wand loose on his hand, while cursing aloud.

He watched as Malfoy woke up and stayed awake, sitting, for a couple of minutes, before he fell asleep again. Soon the nightmares continued.  
It was a cycle: Harry was cursing himself, unable to sleep, unable to wake the other up.  
His insides were on fire with helplessness and pain, watching the other boy's veins stand up in his neck in distress.  
Malfoy's lips were once again curving into words, his fists grabbing the sheets, then his legs moving, trying to get rid of the blanket.  
The blond head was tossing and his lips repeating one single word.

When the movement stopped again Malfoy would sit up. Occasionally he frowned to Harry or mouthed, "Go to sleep."  
Soon the Slytherin lay back down on his back and his actions started again from the beginning.

It was around six a clock in morning when Harry made a _tempus_ spell and finally was able to fall asleep.

He was in a maze, running, taking a turn to the left, not knowing which was the right way and someone was shouting, calling for him. He was running, knowing he should hurry, the shouting got worse and he ran faster. Taking a turn to the left, a voice calling: _"Harry, Harry, help me."_  
He was running, lost. He took a turn to the right on the crossroads, the voice was getting louder,  
_"Help me, Harry, help me."_

He woke up and still heard Malfoy's voice ringing in his ears, jumped up from the bed and started throwing curses at the wall separating the room.

He could see it: Malfoy shuddering, gritting his teeth in pain. That couldn't be a normal nightmare, he was calling for Harry.  
At least Harry thought he was, "_Reducto! Confringo! Expulso!_"

Nothing. Harry had to help him. He had to save him! What if he was dying?

Harry threw his wand away and grabbed his study chair and started beating the wall with it, bang, bang, one leg crashed and flew somewhere but Harry kept smashing the chair against the unmoving material.

_I need to get help_, he thought and took a look at Malfoy, but the Slytherin was now sitting on the edge of the bed staring Harry with wide grey eyes.

Harry was panting and his hands let go of the chair, which fell to the floor and cracked into pieces.  
Malfoy stood up and walked to the wall, frowning at Harry just before the wall vanished when the Slytherin walked through it, "What the hell are you doing, you crazy Gryffindor?"

Harry was breathless, and his voice was too loud, "You were calling for me!"

Suddenly Malfoy looked confused and blinked, "What?"

Harry's hands were shaking, all the adrenaline still flowing inside him, "I heard you! You were calling for me!"

The confusion was still there in the grey eyes, which looked almost dark blue in the dim light and his voice was quiet, "You heard me through the spell?"

For some reason Harry took a step backwards.  
His voice didn't have any strength and he couldn't look Malfoy in the eyes, "No, I… I heard you. Inside my head."

Harry could sense how the blond tensed, suddenly Harry was afraid of getting a sneer or some sarcastic comment. It didn't come.  
He could see the dark mark on the boy's arm, and couldn't think of anything to say, embarrassment was rising inside him and made his ears burn.

It was too quiet, then Malfoy sighed loudly, before asking, "Care to explain what you mean?"

Harry shook his head a little, but answered, "You… I heard you in my dream."

It was too quiet, too long.  
Malfoy probably thought Harry was losing his mind.  
He sighed again and sounded somewhat relieved, "Look, Potter, you were having a bad dream. Everything's fine, you can relax now."

Harry still couldn't look up to his face.  
Now he didn't have to, because Draco slowly took the last two steps that were separating them and Harry buried his face on the boy's neck.  
He took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of the boy, while Malfoy's arms finally wrapped around Harry gently, barely touching, but enough.

Then Malfoy's voice, all soft and the tone was already starting to sound familiar and not exceptionally strange to hear a voice like that coming from Malfoy's lips, "You okay?"

Harry took a deep breath, afraid what would happen after he'd answer, "Yeah. But…"

"But what?" Malfoy pulled away just enough to watch Harry in the face, but Harry clenched his jaw and then dropped his gaze to Malfoy's chest before answering,

"I can't stand seeing you have nightmares. I hate the wall spell you do. It's driving me crazy, so could you at least tell me why you're putting the wall there? I'd rather you never put it there again."

Malfoy pulled away completely but Harry grabbed his arm,  
"Malfoy, please! Just tell me, what's going on?"

Malfoy shook his head, voice too quiet, "You know, I can't tell you."

Harry's voice was rising again, creating a ridiculous contrast between their tones, "Why not? I need to know! Do you want me to beg on my knees? Is that it?"

He knew he was about to lose control, he suddenly felt like the whole room could burst into fiendfyre if Malfoy was going to put the wall back now. His feelings were irrational and uncontrollable.

"Calm down, Potter. I know you're tired and so am I. There's no point in starting a fight now.  
We have to go to breakfast in less than an hour and if we start pulling each other's hair right now, we won't be able to stop it."

Harry knew he was right, absolutely right. How could someone think so clearly and rationally, while Harry was fuming out of unknown reasons.  
The dark haired boy nodded and closed his eyes, "I know."

"Look at me," The Slytherin said and Harry obeyed.  
The grey eyes were serious, "I'm not torturing you on purpose, believe it or not. And I am not blind either. I can see that you're distressed. If it's such a big deal for you, then fine, I'll tell you."

Harry swallowed and opened his lips to speak but couldn't get anything out, before Malfoy continued,

"Now that you've calmed down a bit, do you think we could wait until this evening, and then I'll talk?"

Harry nodded, not knowing what else he could do. He was still looking the boy in the eyes and couldn't get his feet moving.

But Malfoy wasn't moving either, he simply stood there, watching, almost as if he was wondering how they ever ended up in a situation like this. Harry broke the silence,

"If I asked you to do something, which was really important for me and I told you I'd do anything, I mean anything, for you in return, would you do what I asked?"

Malfoy was thinking thoroughly before answering,  
"You know me well enough to know, that I'd want to hear what you'd ask me to do first."

Harry clenched his jaw, "Are you going back to sleep?"

Malfoy shook his head.

The silence stretched. It was weird to think that somewhere outdoors the sun was rising and the beautiful castle was softly asleep, while they were here.  
In this semi darkness with only the dim light, and probably the first ones awake in the school.

It felt like they were somewhere far away. They could've been anywhere.  
How weird would it be to go to breakfast, feeling like this...

Then Malfoy said, "I already know what I want in return, so tell me what it is you'd like me to do."

Harry stared in the grey eyes, he felt like he was standing on a thin line between the newly established unique friendship and the history of their animosity.  
Slytherin versus Gryffindor, honesty meeting cunning.

"I'm feeling awful and I'd like to go to classes and feel normal for a while, so can you… fix me?"

Malfoy's lips curved slightly, "I know exactly what to do. Follow me."

The boy took his wand from the night table and walked to the bathroom. Then into the pool room and Harry was trailing along.  
Malfoy raised his wand towards the ceiling, "_Meteolojinx recanto."_

The dark clouds vanished and suddenly Harry was squinting against the shining sun, holding his hand over his eyes while Malfoy was doing spells on the water, creating bubbles on the surface.  
Then he made one final spell: a very hot warming spell, before turning to Harry,  
"If you don't like this, Potter, I don't know you at all."

He reached for Harry's shirt and began pulling it, Harry raised his arms, letting the item be banished and watched Draco strip his own t-shirt off.  
Harry's eyes went to the boy's chest on their own accord and even without glasses Harry gasped when he saw a scar on the pale skin, knowing where it must've come from.  
Harry had just enough time to look in the grey (now amazingly bright) eyes and register the grin on the face before he fell backwards in the water.

The water was hot and it was going in his nose and he swam quickly to the surface gasping, "Malfoy!"  
But his voice didn't sound angry, merely surprised.

The Slytherin was sitting on the edge of the pool, watching Harry and suddenly dropping into the water, smoothly floating to Harry and clutched at the dark hair with his fingers, saying,  
"This foam suits your reckless hair."

He gave Harry a familiar sneer but now Harry didn't see anything taunting in it, it simply looked good on the boy's face. Harry said, "The scar in your - "

Malfoy splashed gently some water on Harry's face,  
"No, Potter! We're here for quick fun and games before breakfast, so don't try to ruin the mood and do not touch my hair, otherwise I'll skip the breakfast again."

Harry rubbed his eyes and blinked furiously to get his vision back.  
When he did, Malfoy was only inches away from his face with a small grin.  
Harry couldn't smile, he simply couldn't because Malfoy was looking tired again.  
His skin was too pale and dark under the eyes.  
The grey eyes held a whirlpool of exhaustion inside them, even if the boy looked quite happy at the moment.

Harry looked him in the eyes, his nicely curved lips, then back in his eyes and before he knew it, he leaned in and kissed Malfoy. Not gently, but roughly.  
Desperately, hungrily, letting the kiss take the control over his tired brain and making himself forget everything.  
He sucked the Slytherin's tongue, sucked it like he wanted to swallow it.  
Like he wanted to devour the boy.  
Malfoy pulled away first, to get some air before muttering, "You greedy little Gryffindor."

Then he attacked Harry with a new kiss, this time taking the control himself.  
He sucked Harry's lips and tongue, not giving the other boy a chance to do anything else but to obey his rules of kissing. He did it long enough and finally Harry had to pull away, breathless.

Draco's lips felt spent and tingly when he asked, "Enough?"  
Potter shook his head, just a bit, before muttering, "Never."  
Draco had to kiss the boy again before he'd die of the green of his eyes.  
Green like the killing curse. What an irony right there in the eyes of the Boy Who Lived.  
When he reluctantly pulled away to breathe, he finally saw a smile on the lightning bolt scarred face and asked, "Ready for breakfast?"


	8. Ice melting

Chapter 8 Ice Melting

Harry's thoughts wandered during the breakfast, he yawned a lot but assured his friends that everything was fine.

Right after the lunch he decided to go and visit Snape's portrait, but had to do it quickly before the next class.  
Professor Snape was drowsing and it was unnerving to wake him up. "Professor Snape?"

Professor opened his left eye but closed it, "I must be dreaming. I cannot believe a certain student has once again taken the liberty of stalking around the castle while he should be in class."

Harry frowned and wished he'd come up with a better plan, "Professor, Sir, I need your help."

Severus Snape crossed his arms over his chest, not opening his eyes,  
"Explain quickly, Mr. Potter, I do have better things to do."

Harry said, "You have to understand me. Sir, this has to stay between us, you can't tell anyone."

Now the dark eyes opened and glared, the voice drawling, "Are you giving me orders?"

Harry looked around, just in case, "No, Sir, I just… I don't know who I can trust and I need help. It's urgent."

Snape looked around as well before saying, "I will give you five minutes and after that I will not have you in this corridor again for a week at least."

Harry nodded. "Thanks, Sir."

The door became visible and Harry entered. Once again a fireplace unlit, a couch and nothing else, except a portrait above the fireplace.  
Harry sat down and cast the spell to light the fire.  
When Snape marched in sight, Harry started talking, watching the professor pace around in the small place inside the frames,  
"I think a friend of mine might've been cursed."

Harry paused, Snape stopped and gave him a glare before starting to pace again,  
"No need to stop talking, Mr. Potter. I'm quite able to follow a line of thought, if you are clever enough to form one. "

Harry clenched his jaw,  
"Sir, I've seen him having nightmares and I don't think it's normal anymore. He's not sleeping almost at all. He wakes up from a bad dream every five minutes ans then falls asleep but soon wakes up again.  
And while he's asleep, his whole body looks like he's being tortured. I've never seen anything like that before."

Snape stopped and looked at him, measuring him with his eyes, "Go on."

Harry said, "And for some reason he won't let me wake him up. He casts a spell so that I can't get anywhere near his bed when he's sleeping. And last night something weird happened.  
I was asleep and dreaming, and suddenly I heard his voice. He was calling for me to help him."

Snape looked suddenly interested, "Did you see him in your dream or did you just hear his voice?"

"Just his voice, Sir."

Snape started pacing again, it made Harry uncomfortable,  
"What happened then? You heard him calling you for help and then what?"

Harry answered, "Well, then… I woke up and saw that he was having a nightmare and I tried to break through the wall spell until I realised he had woken up in the meanwhile."

Snape stopped again and asked, "Did you tell him you heard him in your dream?"

Harry answered,  
"Yes, Sir, I did. But It's weird. I told him I heard him, and he asked did I hear him even though the spell was there.  
It doesn't let any sound through, you see, and so I said I heard him inside my head, in my dream. He told me that I had been dreaming and… everything's okay."

Snape frowned, "I am not quite sure I understand. Did he, or did he not, tell you what had happened in his dream?"

Harry shook his head. Snape started talking like a machine gun, he seemed to be irritated for some reason,

"Do you have any idea what he's dreaming about? How long has he been seeing them and was he in pain when you assumed he was? Can you give me any visible symptoms or evidence of a curse? Does he seem to be severely depressed in the mornings? Is he afraid of going to sleep in the evenings? Has he taken any measures to enhance his sleeping, like sleeping draughts? Had he really been calling for you in his dream? Has he ever slept without having the nightmares?"

Harry stared at the ex-Potions teacher for a moment before trying to form an answer, he had possibly forgotten half of the questions already,

"I'll have to think about it. Hmm, actually he doesn't want to talk about his nightmares so I don't know what he's dreaming of or when they've first started.  
I haven't seen him taking any sleeping potions but I'm not watching him all the time, so...  
He likes to stay awake late in the evenings but he goes to bed thou, and doesn't look afraid or anything like that."

Harry frowned and went on,  
"I didn't ask if he'd been calling for me, because I assumed I had been paranoid.  
I've seen him sleep the whole night through without the dreams, twice.  
No, he's not depressed in the mornings. That's about all I know.  
Do you know what's wrong with him, Sir?"

Snape's lips twitched, "Why am I not surprised that you do not have any proof for your suspicions about curses being used. If my godson does not want to talk about his dreams with you, then you should let him keep his thoughts to himself.  
In the meantime, if you are seriously worried about his wellbeing, then perhaps you should encourage him to come and talk to me.  
In this particular case I assume what you are talking about, Potter, are merely nightmares.  
If you keep hearing his voice in your dreams, then it is your extraordinarily big hero ego and an unbalanced unconsciousness."

Harry opened his mouth to talk before he closed it.

Snape continued, "Draco is going through a lot. I can see that your Gryffindor brain thinks you have the right to start fixing his things even without his permission. If I told him you were here trying to find out about his nightmares without him knowing, I'm quite certain a hell would erupt around you, Mr. Potter."

Snape kept a meaningful pause before ending the sentence, "I might even tell him, so that you can get the lesson you deserve. I advise you to listen if he needs to talk about something, and tell him you need him."

Harrys' eyebrows shot up, "Tell him I need him?"

Snape was already heading for the frame to get out, but gave Harry one more look before leaving and muttering, "Yes. Tell him."

Harry felt numb and exhausted leaving the room and heading for class.  
They had potions and he sat down next to Draco.  
Harry sighed and cherished the notion how much he liked to work with Malfoy during the class.

He knew people had been talking about them, wondering how quickly they had turned into friends, but when being with the Slytherin he didn't even notice the world around him.

It was just the two of them and nothing else mattered much.

What he really would've like to do was to grab the Slytherin with him and drag him somewhere, preferably back to the tent and just hold him, never let go of him again.

Even though Harry didn't like Snape, he still trusted him.  
Especially when the subject was Draco Malfoy, his godson, whom he clearly cared very much for.  
Harry had to believe he was right.  
_No curse, just an evil subconscious._

After class he went to Hermione, "I need your help."

Hermione frowned, "Oh Harry, what is it now? Are you okay? You do look awfully tired."

Harry nodded, "Can you meet me in the library in ten minutes?"

Hermione packed the last of her books in her bag, "Sure. I'll just have to get rid of Ron but that should be fairly easy. I'll meet you there."

Harry was clenching his fists, and then relaxing them before clenching again, the motion was calming him down. Harry had done his homework alone in their tent, taken a shower and now it was past ten. Malfoy was still in Zabini's tent.  
Harry was waiting for him a little unnerved, not knowing what to expect from their conversation. He was worried he might accidentally say something wrong and make Malfoy storm out or something.

Finally Malfoy came and looked angry when he said, "I need a quick shower."

Harry simply nodded, wondering about the unmasked anger which was written in Malfoy's forehead, cheeks and lips.

Fifteen minutes later there was a Slytherin in a white t-shirt and black, now oh so familiar and soft looking black underwear, sitting next to Harry, blond hair dripping with water.

Malfoy said, "Don't look so worried, Potter. I'm mad at someone else, not you."

Harry tried to smile and opened his mouth to speak but suddenly lacked the words.  
Malfoy was reading his facial features and said, "You must be dying with curiosity, so ask me and I'll answer if I can."

Harry clenched his fists and talked with a quiet voice, "I don't know where to start, there's so much going on in my head. I know you don't want to talk to me about some things and… it would be fine otherwise but I'm just – I'm worried about you. I'm afraid of what's going on and I might be becoming a bit paranoid because of it."

He kept a pause before continuing,  
"It's not like I can tell my brain to stop worrying. Especially when I clearly see everything's not right. I want to respect you enough to not to force you to talk, and not to start following you around like I did in sixth year. I want things to be differently.  
I want to hear things from you. I want to know what's going on inside your head."

Harry was staring at his toes when he finished.

Malfoy was quiet for a while before sighing, "This is weird. Having a conversation like this with you. Not to mention the fact that I prefer not to talk to anyone about what's going on inside my head."

Harry looked at the boy, who was staring into emptiness, "Would it be easier to talk if I didn't ask questions? Then you could tell me anything you wanted you. "

The grey eyes lacked emotion and were filled with emptiness instead, "Actually yes. Besides, I already know some questions you have in your mind."

Harry pulled his feet on the bed, turned to sit towards the blond and crossed his legs in the knee, trying to find a comfortable position and was ready to listen, to absorb every word the boy would say.

The Slytherin muttered, "I don't know where to start…"

A sigh, his voice was quiet but calm, "This is harder than I thought."

God how much Harry felt like pulling him in to an embrace but didn't take the risk, "Take all the time you need, we have all the time in the world."

Malfoy snorted before his voice became serious, "Yeah. You shouldn't be worrying about me so much. No need to run to my godfather suspecting curses of some sort."

Harry gasped and the words came out quickly, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have gone to him without discussing about things with you first but I was so worried and –"

A hand clapped over Harry's mouth and stayed there, grey eyes were glaring but not burning, "Shut up, Potter. I know. I know you only did it because you were worried and I hadn't given you enough explanations. I should teach you a lesson, you'd deserve a punishment."

He took the hand away from Harry's mouth slowly, as if waiting if Harry dared to talk again.  
Grey eyes still glaring he pointed a finger to Harry and spoke slowly with a low and serious voice,  
"From now on you won't talk about my business with anyone else except me. I mean no-one. You understand?"

Harry nodded, lips tingly.  
Malfoy looked away and continued talking, "Where was I. Oh yeah, I don't have any curse on me. I've checked for it several times. You could've asked me if you suspected something like that. The nightmares are nightmares, and nothing more."

A pause, silence, a deep breath,  
"There's some… aspects in my dreams that I don't want anyone to know. It's nothing for you to worry about, I can live with the dreams. But I don't want you listening to me speaking while I'm having a nightmare. It's my unconsciousness, and you don't have the right to…"

The sentence was left unfinished and Harry had to ask, "I know what you mean, I don't have the right to know about stuff that you're not telling me knowingly. It's okay. Is that the reason why you're putting up a wall in here?"

The blond boy nodded and Harry asked, "Why not use a silencing charm?"

Malfoy frowned, "It's not enough. If I used a simple silencing spell, then you'd be able to come close enough to read my lips and I don't want that. Besides I don't want you to wake me up, otherwise I won't get any sleep."

Harry said, "Okay. But you don't see any nightmares when you're sleeping with me so why can't you just… sleep with me?"

Malfoy looked at him, sucking his lower lip and possibly considering it before answering,  
"I've been seeing those dreams for a while now and all I can do is simply wait and hope they'll go away someday. It could take months or years, who knows. If I kept sleeping with you all the time then I'd get so used to it the dreams would make me feel more awful when I eventually had to face them again. So basically sleeping constantly with you is not a solution to the problem itself.  
Don't think I haven't been thinking about it."

Then he turned his head away and stared into emptiness again. Harry was thinking aloud,

"But... have you ever talked about those dreams with anyone? Like… what's happening in them?"

Malfoy shook his head and muttered, "No, and I don't want to."

"But maybe if you talked about them, or if you analysed them, like, what could be the reason for you seeing them, then maybe they'd go away?"

Malfoy shrugged before answering, "Maybe. Who knows."

"You should try it. I don't mean you would have to recite the whole dream, but… like… I don't know, maybe think about what you're feeling in those dreams and why, stuff like that."

Harry was kneading the blanket with his fingers and finally dared to look at the Slytherin, whose face looked too pale and the expression was tense. Harry had been talking with Hermione about muggle psychology. He had asked her what muggles usually did to their nightmares and although Hermione wasn't sure, she'd said they might analyse the reasons for the dreams.

Of course Harry had lied to Hermione that he himself was seeing bad dreams, which was believable since Harry indeed had been tired and yawning the whole day.

Malfoy looked like he didn't want to talk about the contents of the dreams so Harry asked the next question, "Have you been taking any potions or anything to make you sleep?"

Malfoy nodded and started telling, "Yeah I did at first, after the war. But I could only use something for a week before I was already getting addicted to them so I stopped.  
I am a Malfoy. I won't become some sleeping draught addict roaming around the Knockturn Alley!"

Harry said, "Good, I think... that's… it's better if you're not taking anything since they're not a solution to the problem itself."

Malfoy looked at him and grinned, "Saint Potter, already under my bad influence, mimicking my sentences."

Harry grinned back before taking the risk of asking, "Um… you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but would you like to tell me something about your dreams, like… who's in them?"

There were several emotions in Malfoy's eyes before the boy turned his head away. The feelings were changing so fast Harry couldn't tell what they were. Possibly anger, fear, surprise and something else.

Malfoy was staring into emptiness, just like before, but his face was tense and Harry was sure he was thinking about both the dreams and the question.  
He was quiet for a long time and when he was speaking, Harry expected him to stop at any point because he kept such long pauses,

"It varies. My parents, the Dark Lord. There's some people I don't want to mention. Occasionally I have guest stars, even such as Dumbledore and Hermione."

Harry's eyebrows shot up but he didn't dare to say anything. Hermione? Why would Malfoy see Hermione in his dreams? Surely Malfoy wasn't afraid of her or anything. Could it have anything to do with the fact that Hermione had been tortured when they were in Malfoy Manor? And who were the people the Slytherin didn't want to mention?

When Harry was certain the boy wasn't going to say anything more, Harry asked,

"The things that happen in your dreams… have those happened really, like are they memories, or are they just something your unconsciousness creates?"

"Both. Sometimes they're almost like memories but… distorted, exaggerated. My feelings are always over the top, I'm overloaded with feelings."

Harry cringed and without thinking crawled behind the blond boy, straightened his legs around the sitting form and leaned against the boy's back. Harry's arms slowly went around the boy's waist to a loose hug and he buried his nose into the pale neck and soft, white hair. He gave a gently kiss to the neck and stayed there.  
He breathed in and adored the scent. Malfoy relaxed a bit and moved his fingers on Harry's left arm, stroking it gently with his thumb.  
Harry wrapped his arms tightly around the boy before asking, "What are the feelings?"

Malfoy's shoulders shrank a bit and his head hung, as if in shame.  
The answer was barely a whisper, "There's many. It's hard to distinguish them. Mostly guilt and… fear, panic. "

Harry swallowed. Suddenly he felt an overwhelming amount of affection and caring for Malfoy.  
His insides ached with it. He took a deep breath, put his chin on the boy's left shoulder and said in a serious voice,  
"If I begged on my knees, would you sleep with me tonight?"

Suddenly Malfoy flinched and gave a short laugh, "Get on your knees and start begging."

Harry grinned, although he was sad, "Was that a joke?"

Malfoy's voice changed, it wasn't serious anymore, it was teasing, "Well of course it wasn't, are you going to do it or not?"

They both tensed and Harry pulled away before stepping down from the bed and standing in front of the blond boy.  
The Slytherin was grinning and then said, shaking his head, "Potter, no, don't!"

But Harry had already made up his mind and tried to keep his face serious as he sat down on the floor ("Stop it! get up, you idiot, I was joking!") right in front of the pale knees and looked up in the grey, smiling eyes,

"Mister Malfoy, my Lord, will you give me the privilege of sleeping in the same bed with you tonight?"

Malfoy shook his head in disbelief, still grinning and then tried to get a serious face,

"Potter, you're mental. Fine, I'll sleep with you but only because you're begging for it. Now get up, immediately!"

But Harry didn't get up, he put his hands on Malfoy's knees and the legs relaxed under Harry's touch. Suddenly Harry couldn't keep his eyes from the other boy's chest _and oh dear lord how soft the underwear looked like_and how much he wanted to reach his hand and feel how it would feel on his fingers, touch the fabric and feel the warmth underneath it.

He opened his lips to speak but couldn't form any coherent sentence so he stayed quiet, eyes lingering on the boy in front of him.  
When he looked back up in Draco's eyes, he knew the other boy could see it.  
He could look Harry in the eyes and see how the dark haired boy was getting aroused because he was there, on the floor, looking up at him.

Malfoy put his hands on Harry's head, fingers running on Harry's hair and then stroking his neck. Harry could see how Draco's pupils grew bigger, the air felt suddenly thick.  
It was amazing how visible the feeling of getting aroused was.  
Harry could almost imagine the electric charge in the air and they were waiting for the feeling to erupt into a full storm.

Draco's fingers started caressing Harry's face, gently, like teasing and as if waiting for Harry to stand up and throw him into the mattress and - .  
The thumb trailed along Harry's lips and Harry's insides were on fire, a storm forming inside him. Harry took the thumb in his mouth, sucked it gently while watching Malfoy lick his lips and Harry could see it even in Draco's breathing.  
How basic things like breathing suddenly needed concentration because the feelings between them were growing so big.  
The feelings were swallowing every drop of their concentration and numbed, blurred away the whole world around them.

Suddenly Malfoy grabbed Harry's glasses and threw them somewhere on the floor.  
Like it needed some sort of counteract from Harry, Harry leaned closer and kissed Malfoy's knee, running his hand up the thigh.

Malfoy tilted his head back a little and inhaled sharply, the sound forced Harry to run his lips along the thigh and his hands were running towards the black underwear.  
Malfoy's fingers were pulling Harry's hair and he couldn't stop himself, he simply couldn't.  
He touched the boy, gently and stroked the soft, black fabric, and the skin underneath it.  
His breathing was getting heavy from the need.

He tried to pull the underwear down, forcing Draco to stand up.  
Even a simple move like that was probably hard to do, because the air was so thick with tension.

("_What are you doing?_")  
He needed so much. He pulled the underwear down and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, not allowing him to sit or move.  
Harry looked up, into the grey eyes that were holding an identical expression of the uttermost want and need. Harry opened his mouth and sucked the head of the cock, licked it, sucked it and then closed his eyes and opened his mouth wider.

His arms were pulling the boy closer and closer.  
Malfoy's hand was on his neck, fingers pressing in the skin. The blond Slytherin gasped and moaned although he was clearly fighting back with the urge of expressing himself with the most unintelligent sounds that were forming behind his now closed lips.  
Nothing else existed.  
Harry was licking and sucking like he'd been doing it all of his life, and like he wasn't able to stop himself. He needed it, he needed it badly.  
He wouldn't have stopped even if Voldemort came running though the flap of the tent.  
No, Harry would've stayed right here sucking, and absorbing all the small noises the other boy made.  
Those were only fueling up the fire inside Harry.

Malfoy was trying to hold back from clawing Harry's skin, but his fingers were gripping, scratching and pressing like he couldn't control them.  
Harry was drowning again, the waves were pulling him deeper and deeper and oh Merlin how much he liked to do this and Malfoy was moaning now.  
Not being able to hold it back.  
Harry whimpered 'cause the sound suddenly made his insides burst into strong fire. He moaned around Draco's cock when he was suddenly coming inside his own pants, barely aware of it, and a second later the blond boy was trembling and coming in Harry's throat.

Harry simply swallowed it all, like it wasn't a big deal, like it was the expected thing to do.  
He felt like he could've been drinking the boy for hours and more but finally he loosened his lips and pulled away just enough to open his eyes and gasp for breath.  
He felt like slowly waking up, like everything was so hazy he didn't live in the reality at all and Malfoy's fingers were stroking his face.  
He could barely feel how his own underwear was damp, the fabric was sticking onto his skin.

Finally he managed to get his erratic breathing a bit more normal and looked up at the boy, who wore a similar spent and exhausted expression.  
Malfoy grabbed a hard hold of Harry's shirt, forcing the dark haired boy stand up on his trembling feet.

The Slytherin looked him in the eyes, leaned in and kissed him but only briefly, lips meeting lips, brushing, all the burning need was gone for now, leaving them in a warm haziness of the afterglow.

Malfoy whispered against his lips, "Potter, I think you're gay."  
Harry frowned but didn't bother to open his eyes, lips finding Malfoy's again and brushing, his thoughts a hazy mess. Draco's fingers wrapped themselves around Harry's wrist, "Come."

Malfoy started pulling the boy along, Harry still felt his legs protesting but Malfoy simply dragged him along and when they were standing on the edge of the pool.  
The ceiling looked like the sun had just been setting, filling the room with deep red light.

Malfoy pulled Harry's shirt off, stripped off his underwear and pushed Harry gently on the water, back first, just like he had done in the morning.  
Harry wasn't protesting, and met the water relaxed, diving only briefly.  
He felt good, amazingly good, like something big and good had just happened to him.

Draco stripped off the last garment he had on and dropped in the water, stayed leaning on the wall of the pool watching Harry, who quirked his eyebrow before diving and appearing back to surface brushing against Malfoy's body.

Since Malfoy didn't say anything at first so Harry fell for the silence too.  
They were watching each other, eyes glowing, just watching, like waiting for the other to start something, anything.

Finally it was Malfoy who broke the silence, "Do you think this is odd?"

Harry's expression didn't change, "Do I think what's odd?"

Malfoy stood still, even the water's surface didn't ripple, "How quickly things have been changing between you and me."

Harry shook his head slowly, not taking his eyes off the boy, "No, I don't. Do you?"

Malfoy nodded slowly, like he was mimicking Harry but only doing an opposite move,

"Only when I stop to think about it. I've always been so aware of you; where you are, what you're doing, and I know you've felt the same way. I remember this one time third year in potions when I was standing right behind you talking to… talking to someone else and I could see how you tensed, and you only did that because you knew I was somewhere behind you and you heard my voice."

Harry frowned, "I did not!"

Malfoy grinned suddenly,  
"Yes, you most definitely did. No need to deny that, Potter! I've been keeping an eye on you and you've been acting like that as long as I remember.  
You always know exactly where I am in a classroom even when you're not expecting me to start a fight. And one time you even flinched when I walked right past you, although you pretended you'd not seen me!"

Harry's face seemed to warm up with Malfoy's grin,  
"That means you must've been obsessed about me if you've been observing my behavior all the time with such accuracy, as long as you remember."

Malfoy's grin faded and it was replaced by seriousness, "You know what I'm talking about. There's always been tension between us."

Harry's face was serious too, "I know. I wasn't denying that."

They stayed quiet for a moment before Malfoy said,  
"You know what, Potter? The expressions on your face around me have changed so much that I've been wondering if you've simply forgotten our past.  
I honestly don't know where we are at the moment but I don't want you to act like we've been good to each other before."

Harry frowned, there was something in Malfoy's words he didn't like,  
"Why are you bringing this up now? Have I done something wrong?"

Malfoy's voice was irritated, "No, I just want you to remember that we've been hating each other for many years and something like that cannot be changed as fast as it has been happening recently."

Harry was suddenly on the verge of losing his temper, "I'm not forgetting anything! I have this special place inside my head where I have all of your stupid retorts from previous years in safe! Besides it's not like I could forget our past even if I wanted to when there's the constant reminders of it in your chest and left arm!"

Harry wished he could take the last words back, he saw clearly how Malfoy's eyes grew cold and the boy moved his gaze away from Harry's eyes.  
Harry dropped his eyes on the water's surface and said quietly,  
"I'm sorry, I… it came out before I realised what I was saying, I didn't mean that."

If he was waiting an explosion from Malfoy, it never came.  
Both of them were silent, Harry felt embarrassed.

Harry couldn't take it,  
"I'm sorry. I don't know if you know this already but I didn't know what the spell was. That day in the bathroom. I'd found it on a book and I thought it would be something like jelly-legs or just as harmless. I never meant to hurt you like that! Never.  
And I've felt awful about it, I've felt guilty but I simply haven't been able to bring it up in before."

Malfoy closed his eyes before muttering, "Yeah, I know. Snape told me."

Harry's mouth turned into an 'o', "Oh. When?"

Malfoy answered while tilting his head back, opening his eyes and gazing at the ceiling,  
"The first night back here this year."

Harry frowned, "What? How – do you mean the painting?"

Malfoy's eyes scanned the ceiling absentmindedly,  
"Yes. In McGonagall's office. Snape actually told McGonagall he wanted to talk to me in private and McGonagall simply left. Severus told me all kinds of - , um… why am I talking about this?  
Let's change the subject."

Harry stared, "What were you doing in McGonagall's office?"

Malfoy shook his head a bit, dismissing Harry's questioning,  
"None of your – you know. The main reason why I brought this whole thing up was that you haven't given me any of those suspicious looks you used to give me.  
It seems to me like you're eyes are saying that you… trust me."

Malfoy looked Harry in the eyes and asked before Harry had managed to answer,  
"You do, don't you?"

Harry's voice was quiet but it still echoed from the water's surface with determination, "Yeah."

The lightning in the room was coloring both Draco's eyes and hair slightly red, "How much?"

"A lot," Harry was trying not to tense in front of Malfoy's piercing gaze.  
It was like Malfoy was searching his eyes if he was telling the truth. The look was soon even more intense, burning Harry's eyes when Malfoy asked, low and very quiet, "Would you trust your life in my hands?"

Harry didn't even blink, "Yes."

The greyness with the weird red and same low voice,  
"If I knew a way how you could prove it to me, right here, right now, would you do it voluntarily?"

Harry blinked and considered the question before answering, voice calm but determined, "Yes."

Malfoy's eyes seemed to glow. Perhaps he wasn't waiting for an answer like that.  
The blond said, "Good. Stay here, I'll be right back."


	9. Secrets uncoiling

Chapters 9

Secrets uncoiling

Having said that Malfoy pulled himself up from the pool, left the room and came back right after with his wand in hand. He dropped himself in the water, holding his right hand up, not letting the wand get wet. Harry didn't ask questions.

"Come here," Malfoy ordered.  
It was pretty useless since Harry was so close already. Harry moved closer, close enough to brush against the boy, whose lips looked soft and grey eyes were glimmering.  
"Turn around."

Harry did as he was told, and Malfoy wrapped carefully his left arm tightly around Harry's chest, leaving Harry's arms bound underneath it.  
Harry vaguely thought about whether he could get his arms free from the grip if he really wanted to, he wasn't really sure which of them had more physical strength nowadays.  
Harry felt nervous in a good way.

"Don't worry, Potter, this is something basic so you've got nothing to worry about.  
There's only one little question for you to think about while were down there.  
Who's going to save you, the former Death Eater or are you going to have to save yourself?  
Now, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it, and I want you to do it exactly… NOW."

As Harry hastily filled his lungs with air, he could barely hear Malfoy cast some spells and suddenly they were underneath the surface and moving at furious speed, going straight down to the bottom of the pool.

Luckily the pool wasn't too deep and it took them only a couple of seconds to get to the bottom.

Harry opened his eyes. The water was pretty dark, still a bit red from the dim light of the ceiling.

Harry's lungs seemed to protest already although they just got here.  
The water carried Harry's weight and made him feel light as a feather.  
The only thing that kept him firmly rooted on the spot and kept him from floating back to the surface was Malfoy's arm.

He moved his legs and they brushed against Malfoy's and he knew Malfoy was standing, feet glued to the floor, it must be a spell.

The firm grip around Harry's chest seemed even tighter now and suddenly the thought crossed Harry's mind: what if something would go wrong?

God, his lungs were protesting, telling him to exhale and then inhale but Harry only pressed his lips together more tightly.  
Harry had no idea how Draco had rooted himself on the bottom, it felt like he was an anchor.  
The boy didn't even move, not at all like Harry was, floating.

Oh god, which spells had Malfoy done before they dived? What if he had somehow forgotten he wouldn't be able to use his voice for the spells underwater?

Harry blinked. Then he looked down at the arm holding him.  
Somewhere there on the skin of that arm was the dark mark which Harry couldn't see right now.

Malfoy had deliberately called himself a former Death Eater, just to make Harry nervous.

His lungs ached, he would soon have to breathe, he would have to.  
He'd love to start to struggle to get free, but no, he wouldn't do that.

But he'd loved to, his whole body was screaming to get out of here, he needed air!

Here he was. On the bottom of a pool.

Fighting against the urge to struggle. Trying not to panic in the loss of air.

The colour of the water dark red like there was blood mixed in it.  
He needed to breathe.  
His thoughts were going in a circle, same things repeating over and over again.

The only chain holding him here was the Slytherin.  
A Slytherin - you weren't supposed to trust in them.  
What if Malfoy had meant that Harry should eventually save himself, that Draco couldn't be trusted?  
If it was a lesson of some sort.  
Oh god, he would really need to breathe right now. He would panic soon if he didn't get air.

He moved a little in discomfort, trying to get even closer to the boy behind him, although he already was so tightly pressed against him he could feel Malfoy's heartbeats.

Like sensing Harry's feelings Malfoy's nose brushed Harry's neck just right under his left ear.

No, he'll have to save me. Yes, he will do it, I know he will.  
He wouldn't let me drown. He wouldn't. He won't.  
_Oh God, my vision's getting too blurry_. _Oh no. No, no. Please, let me breathe_.

Harry leaned his head on Malfoy's shoulder and tilted his head back, wanting nothing more than to breathe, resting there, trying to stay relaxed although his body was aching and trying to get him panic.

His mind was getting blurry too, thoughts were stopping to repeat only a couple of words like his head couldn't form anything more anymore: _please, let me breathe, Draco, please._

His heart was beating too fast. His body was protesting against the loss of oxygen.

He relaxed again and decided that he would have to let the air out, he would rather breathe in the water than try to not to breathe any longer.  
He knew he was already blacking out, his vision was filled with stars and he opened his mouth and let all the air out.

When he inhaled he didn't get water in his mouth, instead he got air and he gasped and panted and his heart was kicking wickedly.

He opened his eyes and barely heard a spell being made but didn't know what it was for.  
His vision was blurry but when it settled he noticed it was a lot darker now on the surface.  
Or maybe he just imagined it, they couldn't have been underwater for more than a minute or minute and half.

Malfoy's voice was too quiet, "You okay?"  
Harry didn't have the strength to answer so he simply nodded and still panted.

Then he focused his eyes on Draco's face, the eyes were too grey and dark when Harry asked, still panting, "Did I black out?"

Malfoy shook his head, "No. Almost, but not quite."

Harry smiled suddenly, "What was the spell you just made?"

Draco frowned, "Just now? I just cleared your airways in case you already had water in your lungs."

He added, "Potter, you are mental. You need some professional help.  
Do not ever, I mean ever, let anyone do something like that to you. Not even me. Okay?"

Harry's smile faded and then he frowned, "What?"

Malfoy shook his head, "Don't you have any basic survival instinct? If I wanted to drown you, I could've done it!"

Harry didn't quite understand what the problem was but his voice was quiet when he answered, "Yeah, I know. I thought the whole point was to show you I trust you, and I do, and I did, so what are you complaining about?"

Malfoy was too quiet and looked almost… nervous, not meeting Harry's eyes.

"What is it?" Harry asked.  
Malfoy shook his head again, and then finally said,  
"I don't want you to let anyone do stuff like that to you. You trust people too much. Even those, who do not deserve to be trusted."

Finally the grey eyes met the green ones and everything Harry could feel at the moment was sadness.  
Harry was sad too, because that was the only feeling he could read through the grey eyes.

The words Malfoy said could have meant something completely different, they could have been said with a cold voice and it could've been a threat of some sort.

It could've meant that Malfoy had been secretly thinking if he should really drown Harry.  
But no… Harry knew better now.  
There was no mistake about it. Draco Malfoy's eyes were telling Harry in the most honest grey colour that he didn't think he was worth being trusted. And Harry knew that was bullshit.

Harry said, "I can promise you that I won't let anyone else pull me underwater if I can help it. But when it comes to trusting you, I cannot force you to trust yourself, but you should at least let me make my own decisions about it. I trust you and nothing you say now can change that."

Draco didn't say anything but finally he looked away, like Harry's eyes had been hurting him.

Harry said, "Let's go to bed."

He didn't even know if Malfoy would follow him or not but he got up from the pool and marched to his bathroom to wrap himself on a towel. Then we walked to the main room and stood in front of the fireplace, there were only embers left. His feelings were an odd mixture of nameless feelings.

The conversations they'd been having lately were somewhat… disturbing.  
Malfoy was right about some things. Like when he'd said that they had their past and it shouldn't be forgotten. Harry had not forgotten, he had simply forgiven.

Why was it that when they were younger, Malfoy could say awful things, make Harry snap in seconds but right now Malfoy didn't even need to say almost anything at all.  
It could be just a look, or a tone he used and it would hurt in a completely different way than what Harry was used to.  
It was unnerving.  
Draco was getting under his skin, even with the most delicate little things.

The next morning in Great Hall Draco looked up at the owl, which dropped a dark grey letter on the table in front of him. He took the letter with numb hands and held his breath as he calmly read the lines. He put the letter in his pocket, got up and slowly walked out of the Great Hall.

He had been waiting for this letter for a while now.

Zabini ran after them, panting like he'd been running a long time, "Hey Potter, have you seen Draco? Is he in your tent?"

Harry frowned, "No, I thought he was with you in your tent."

Zabini shook his head, "No, definitely not. He's mad at me and I'm very, very worried about him right now and I have to find him."

Harry asked, "Why's he mad at you?"

Zabini answered, "We were playing Wizard's chess yesterday and I accidentally mentioned the Room of Requirement and he hates the room, he won't have any reference to it or Vincent or Gregory and he stormed out."

Hermione tried to stay calm, "Maybe he just needs some time alone."

Ron said, "Yeah, maybe he's out somewhere? Maybe he went flying to get something else to think about?"

Zabini shook his head, "No, he's definitely not outside this building."

Hermione frowned, "How do you know that?"

Zabini shook his head again.

Hermione was anxious, "Zabini, come on, tell us!"

Blaise did answer, "He doesn't go out. And he doesn't fly anymore."

Ron said, "What do you mean he doesn't go out?"

Zabini answered, "Look, he knows there are people after him and…"

Harry asked, "What people?"

Zabini looked at him, "Former Death Eaters, the same ones that hunted his father down."

Harry asked, "What do you mean, hunted down? He's in Azkaban!"

Zabini shook his head, "No, he isn't! Didn't you see the letter Draco got during Breakfast? Lucius Malfoy is dead!"

Hermione gasped, "Are you saying Lucius Malfoy has been murdered?"

Zabini frowned, "Of course I am. Haven't you heard everyone whispering since breakfast, Granger?"

Harry was going to ask but Ron beat him to it, "There are people after Malfoy and he knows this?

Zabini nodded.

Harry asked, "Did you mean he doesn't go outside alone and not flying because he thinks someone might come after him if he does?"

Zabini looked uncomfortable, "Well… how do I say this… he doesn't go out at all, not even with me. I don't know whether the flying is related to that but I've heard him say he'll never fly again."

Ron's mouth was open and then he blurted, "He did go out! I've seen him! On herbs lesson! He was with Harry!"

Zabini's mouth dropped open, "What? Where was I at the time?"

Hermione answered, "I think you were at the infirmary, because I saw you, Dean Thomas and Binns on the corridor. You and Dean looked like you'd managed to let out some steam before Binns had turned up."

There was a knowing smile on Zabini's lips, "Oh yeah, right, I got a good kick on his balls. Too bad he broke my wrist, I hate staying at the hospital wing."

Harry's brain was busy trying to put pieces of the puzzle on the right place. It was frustrating, things were a mess, nothing making sense.  
Then he heard himself asking, "Why do you reckon he went out with me?"

Zabini stared at him like he was stupid, "He trusts you. You're the savior of the wizarding world, you defeated the old snake face! For Merlin's sake, who wouldn't trust you to save them if something happened?"

Ron muttered, thinking aloud, "Yeah, and something did happen."

Zabini's head turned to Ron in a quick movement, "What?"

Hermione asked, "Didn't he tell you there was a monster in the Forbidden Forest?"

Zabini shook his head before saying, "I can't believe this. He doesn't go out in months and when he does, of course something has to happen. I have to find him, right now."

Ron asked, "Why are you so worried about him? If he's inside the building, then he'll be alright, right?"

Zabini was still shaking his head and his expression was one of desperation,  
"No, he won't! He's a good actor and anyone might mistake to think he'll be alright but I know him better than that. I thought he trusted me, I thought he would tell me when things got worse, but if he didn't even tell me that he'd been outside and all, it proves he hasn't been telling me everything. I knew it! I knew things were even worse that he admitted! I have to go and find him."

With that Zabini left quickly, almost running. Harry shouted after him, "Where are you going?"

Zabini shouted, "I don't know, maybe astronomy tower although I know he hasn't been there ever since…"

But the sentence never got finished because the boy already was running out of sight.

Hermione looked worried, "Harry?"

Harry felt like stunned. Too much information. Then his legs started walking and he didn't know where he was going but he just kept walking. He could barely hear Hermione and Ron shout after him but he didn't answer.

Malfoy's father was dead. Currently the boy had only one friend besides Harry, and he didn't tell everything to either of them.  
He didn't go out, flying or astronomy tower. He hated every reference to his former friends and the Room of…  
but he'd been in there with Harry nevertheless, just like he'd been out in the forest with Harry!  
There were former Death Eaters after him. He had lost his future after the war; the name, the money.  
Harry entered their tent, still thinking. Draco saw nightmares and barely slept, and he was too skinny and pale.

Who knew how many more things there were that Harry didn't even know about.  
He felt numb, picked up a parchment and tapped it with his wand ("I solemnly swear that I am up to no good") and looked at the lines and dots appearing to it.

No, he's not inside the castle. But he has to be.  
There was only one place Harry knew didn't show on the map.  
He had to be there. "Mischief managed", he put the parchment on his pocket and left.

The corridor was empty. Snape wasn't on the painting so Harry started pacing_: I need to find a place where Draco Malfoy is, I need to find a place where Draco Malfoy is, I need to find a place where -  
_  
"Potter, I told you I didn't want to see you here for a week!" Snape drawled and Harry almost jumped.

"Sir, I'm worried about Malfoy, is he in there? You have to tell me immediately. Is he in there?"

Snape stared at him and tilted his head back a little more so that he could look down at Potter along his nose and drawled,  
"I believe that should not be your concern, Mr. Potter."

Harry clenched his jaw,

"He's my friend! I need to know he's alright! His father was just killed by former Death Eaters and I know Malfoy's not doing well so just tell me, is he in there?"

Snape made a tut-tut sound before saying,  
"I hold the secrets of this room, it is my duty and I am not allowed to bring any information outside the room. I assure you I am not going to answer any more questions. Nevertheless I do not have the right to tell you to leave this corridor should you feel to stay. Goodbye, Mr. Potter."

With that Snape left the painting and Harry assumed he had gone inside the room.

That must mean Malfoy's in there, Harry thought and leaned against the wall of the corridor. Then he slid down along the wall and sat, legs spread in front of him, staring at the empty painting.  
If Draco was in there, then Harry would have to wait right here until he came out.  
Just to be sure he pulled out the Marauder's map and checked again, but no, there wasn't a dot with Malfoy's name above it anywhere in the castle. He put the map back in his pocket and sighed.

What was Malfoy going to do now? Did he simply need time to think or was he going to do something? And if he was, then what might that be? Surely he wasn't planning any sort of counter attack against the people who had killed his father?

No, Malfoy couldn't have planned anything like that. He was broken, Harry had known it and yet Harry hadn't understood how thoroughly shattered his life was.  
Harry shivered, it was awful to think that Harry had been living in the same tent and still not fully seen how exhausted the other boy was.

A good actor, Blaise had said, a good actor indeed.  
And the blond Slytherin had been so ignorant most of the time, they hadn't even been fighting properly, not once.

Why was that? Was the ignorance a sign of something? What if Malfoy had been secretly planning something and… Wait, what if Malfoy had been planning to take his own life eventually?  
If he was simply waiting for a final push that would make him act according to his plan?

Maybe that was why he didn't sleep with Harry all the time, created walls and reminded about their past, maybe he was trying to keep a distance to Harry so that they wouldn't get too attached and he could fulfill his plan with simplicity and good conscience.

_Oh god,_ Harry groaned, _what am I going to do?_

Snape sat down on the chair and sighed, "You were right, it's Potter."

Draco was looking outside of the frozen window, gaze filled with emptiness.  
His arms were crossed over his chest. The temperature of the room was beginning with a minus sign. Whether the first number after the sign was one, two or three, and whether the first number had one digit after that or not, didn't really matter.

What mattered was it was freezing cold and every time he talked, his words came out as nice, comforting white steam.

Draco sneered, "Told you he has a crush on me. How does he keep finding me? "

His godfather asked, "Are you sure it's nothing more than a crush?"

Draco didn't move an inch, didn't tense, expression and voice the same as before, "Of course it's not."

Snape's voice was casual, "Why are you so sure?"

Draco answered just as casually, "I'm the one who made him realize his gay. He's temporarily hazy in the head because I've let him… experiment with me."

Snape made a sound before saying, "My breakfast would be coming back up right now if I was still alive. Have you two talked about it? Have you told him you're just letting him… experiment with you?"

Draco frowned, "Of course not! Besides I already managed to accidentally get myself into having a crush on him too so the situation with him is pretty fucked up at the moment."

Snape's words were repeating the earlier message, "Are you sure it's simply a crush? On both sides?"

Draco's voice was quieter now, "Of course."

He kept a pause but added, "He's a Gryffindor up to his core. He can't even feel horny without thinking about the right thing and being affectionate and caring. Gentle."

Snape made a thinking 'mhmm' sound.

Draco carried on, "I don't blame myself for falling for him temporarily. Innocence and honesty in people are rare qualities and since I don't very often get to see those qualities on other people, it's only natural I should… I'm going to make it stop though. Soon. It's just - "

He was silent for a while, thinking about the subject of his words, staring into the frozen window in front of him but seeing something completely different inside his mind.

"I think it's his eyes. Severus, have you ever seen that boy's eyes? The shape and the green colour like killing curse.  
Sometimes when he's looking right inside me, I feel like I could happily die there, looking him in the eyes."

His voice was too quiet. Snape made a coughing sound but Draco didn't pay any attention to it.  
His thoughts suddenly drifted off and he couldn't continue his sentence. Finally Snape said, a little too late,

"Yes, I have seen his eyes. Indeed."

Draco made a soft 'mmm' sound.

Severus started talking again after a while, "You know how everyone else sees him as a hero, do you see him that way?"

Draco was thinking a while before answering, "When I'm awake I usually don't think about it that much. He told me he hates the way people see him. For some reason I believe him.  
I don't want to see him as a hero, I want to see him as he is, whatever that means."

Severus frowned although Draco couldn't see it. He was still staring at the window with blank expression and rolling his ring in his finger when Severus asked,

"Did you just say you don't see him as a hero while you're awake? What do you mean by that?  
I know we talked about your nightmares before but you never mentioned anything about Potter relating to them."

Draco chuckled, "I didn't want to talk about it. I still don't but right now it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing really matters, so I might as well say it."

He kept a pause and breathed calmly before saying,

"You will be the first and last to ever hear me say this, and I'm only telling you this once so listen carefully. Don't fucking dare to laugh at me, Severus, or I promise I'll rip apart every painting you ever visit. And if you ever tell anyone else, I'll kill myself, and I mean it.  
So seal your lips now and never mention or ask about this again."

Severus frowned a bit for the boy's drama but kept quiet and let Draco go on,

"Ever since he saved me in the Room of Burning Hell, I've been seeing him in my dreams. Not always so much as seeing, but knowing he's coming. It's amazing how ironic my sub consciousness is: I still tried to hate him during the days, ignoring the fact that he'd actually saved my life. Even when I was quite fine during the day, I still saw him in my dreams.  
Of course he has to be the fucking savior there too! You should see me, you'd kill yourself laughing, Severus. I'm calling for him in every fucking dream I see!"

Draco released a small laugh, which wasn't as much a laugh but a sad noise, a frustrated admission.

"In a dream I can be in that damned fire, I'm know I'm dying, I call for him, and he appears out of nowhere and saves me.  
Or I can be at home and the Dark Lord decides to kill my parents because I've failed doing something, and you know what I do?  
Instead of aiming my wand at… him and trying to save my parents, I suddenly panic, get all rigid like I can't move and start calling for Potter for help!  
I don't even call him Potter! I call him by his fucking first name. _Harry, Harry,_ and I feel so scared and helpless _Help me_, and then he once again suddenly appears out of nowhere. I wake up, feeling both relieved he saved me and embarrassed I'd call for him."

He shut his eyes in embarrassment even though Severus couldn't see his face.

"It's so ridiculous! I hate myself for that! I'm so pathetic.  
I can't save myself even in my own fucking dreams. It's always him.  
There's always something I'm doing wrong and it's my fault people are dying, including myself. "

"And remember when I told you about the Forbidden Forest and that creepy monster Potter stunned?"

Severus was staring at Draco's back, worried about the sudden amount of information he was getting. There was nothing peaceful about knowing this much of someone's personal thoughts. It was quite unnerving, to be exact.  
Severus answered, "Yes, I remember."

Draco was smiling a bitter smile, still facing the window, his eyes were burning.

"I didn't tell you everything. I told you Potter saved me, but I didn't tell you that I panicked, totally, just the way do in my dreams and while we were under the invisibility cloak… I um… I cried, like a baby, my face hidden in his chest.  
And I wasn't crying of fear, I was crying because he was fucking there!  
He was there and I knew he was going to save me! Just like he does in my dreams. I was so ashamed about the fact that he was saving me while I was once again a useless coward."

The tears felt warm only a second before they started to freeze on his skin.

"His heartbeats. Severus, they were so calming, almost like they were talking to me, telling me everything's going to be fine because he's there. And I'm still proud of myself I didn't weep aloud or beg for him to save me."

Then he suddenly laughed, but it was short and he didn't really see the window in front of him anymore because his eyes were too wet.

"Everything's so bloody ironic it makes my head ache. I hate him because he's the opposite of me. He's so strong and fearless, and even if he's scared he never panics, never.  
Merlin, this is like a big prank the powers of the universe are putting me into. I hate him. And I need him. For the last couple of days I've been feeling like I need him even when I'm awake. It's getting worse by the minute.  
I want to hate him but I can't."

"I'm on the verge of losing the last drops of my self control.  
It's so hard when he says he wants so sleep with me – some part of me seems to think it's the thing I want the most, I feel like melting and I want it so bad it hurts.  
It's peaceful sleeping with him, not seeing the nightmares just because he's already there, keeping me safe. I hate my sub consciousness. Harry Potter saves me in reality, in my dreams and he even saves me from my nightmares. "

"It's crazy. I've never felt this way before. I feel like I'm nothing.  
I can't even exist if he's not there. He's the center of my small useless universe.  
And I'm definitely not going to let myself get used to it, this has gone way too far already.  
I have to stop this. Even if it takes the last piece of my mental strength."

"Ironic how I'm not even crying because of my father.  
It's like all the other things don't mean anything anymore.  
The life I had has ended and I'm not even sorry.  
The only thing that makes me feel anything is him. It makes me hate myself even more.  
It could never work, I know it wouldn't.  
He has his whole life in front of him and I've got nothing.  
That's that. End of topic. Let's not talk about him anymore."

Snape was worried, he was frowning again. Then he asked,  
"Draco, did you owl your mother today?"

Draco shook his head and turned around to look at Snape but didn't move,

"No, of course not. You know they are searching every school owl just in case I should try to contact her. If I wrote to her, they'd find her and kill her. No, she knows I'm alive and I'm safe in this building. I do have Harry Potter here, don't I?"

He chuckled. Snape blinked and said,  
"Your mother will survive and she'll be fine, she's a strong lady."

Draco glared at him, "No, she isn't. You know as well as I do the only reason making her want to stay alive is me."

Snape didn't answer, it would've been useless lying and not given the boy any comfort whatsoever.  
He decided to change the topic, "I'll go and see if Potter's still there."  
He stood up and marched out of the painting, his brain thinking furiously about a quick plan to save his godson from depression.

Draco turned back to the window, put his knuckle against his mouth and bit his clutched, freezing cold fingers to stop the urge of screaming.  
His eyes and cheeks were freezing as the teardrops couldn't decide whether they should melt against the skin or freeze because of the cold air.

Harry was staring at the floor, feeling tired, he didn't even knowledge what time it was but he knew he'd missed several classes and lunch.  
Suddenly he jumped when he heard a voice, "Still here, I see."

Harry didn't get up, he asked, "How's he doing? Did you tell him I'm here?"

Snape didn't answer, he was studying the boy with his eyes before answering,  
"Yes, I did tell him. I have a question for you, Potter. I told you needed him, remember? Did you ever tell him you need him?"

Harry considered the words and shook his head, voice embarrassed and quiet, "No."

Snape rolled his eyes, "Once again you surprise me with your foolishness. If you ever get to see him again, I seriously recommend that you tell him. Tell him you need him. Now, excuse me, I have something else to do."

Having said that Snape already disappeared once again and Harry's cheeks got red, he was mad at himself, he should've told Malfoy when he had the chance. Was Snape thinking that Draco might harm himself or why was he using words like that?

Snape watched the boy by the window and muttered, "He's still there."

Draco made a small agreeing sound.

It was quiet for a while before Snape said, "Do you think that Potter is the most powerful person you know?"

It was quiet before the silent, "Yes".

Severus was thinking, he asked, "Do you think he's so strong that he hasn't got any weaknesses?"

Draco was quiet, again, before saying, "Everyone has weaknesses but… yeah, I guess I do in a way. Why?"

Severus' lips curved a little, "I happen to know for a fact that Potter has a weakness. Don't ask me how I know this because I cannot tell you. Let's just say that there are things like predictions, things that will happen, things that cannot be stopped or changed, because it is meant to be. I happen to know something like that about Potter."

Draco turned around, the surprise in his face was quickly camouflaged into a blank expression, "Why are you telling me this?"

Severus tried to look serious and succeeded, "I think that you have suffered enough for one lifetime and I think that the information would make you see things differently."

Draco frowned, "Are you telling me that you might be willing to tell me Potter's ultimate weakness?"

Severus nodded.

Draco said, "But… Why? If it's confidential, then you shouldn't be telling me about it."

Severus asked, "You do not want to know?"

Draco looked bewildered, "Of course I do. It's just… it's him, the adjectives of naïve and innocent were made for him. I'm not sure I'm Slytherin enough to use his weaknesses for my own goals, not anymore.  
I'm not saying I'm changed or anything, it's just… it's him. I don't know if I could… the way he looks at me and trusts me. No-one trusts me like that, no-one."

Severus frowned, he was beginning to feel irritated, everything seemed to be more difficult when one was merely a painting, he muttered, "Fine."

Draco looked at him for a while before whispering,  
"But if I promised I wouldn't use it against him, then it wouldn't matter if I knew it or not, right?"

Snape's lips curved upwards, "Exactly. Smart boy."

Draco looked so expectant, it almost made Severus feel a pang of guilt for lying outrageously, but no, this was for the best. Draco needed help and he was his godfather, it was his duty to do whatever it took to protect the boy, even now when he was dead himself.

"Tell me." Draco said, voice determined.

Snape kept a serious face,  
"I am not pleased I know this. I've known it for a long time. I know you are going to question my words and perhaps you might even think that they could not be true.  
They are. I know, Draco, I know this for a certain fact. And I was one of the few who knew this, while I was still alive and I never told anyone.  
I'm only willing to tell you because you are my godson and I can see your distress. I do not know if this information will make things easier for you or not but I'm sharing this with you only because I think it might help you.  
I almost think that it would be unfair of me not to tell you, considering the situation you are in right now."

Draco blinked, "Alright. Go on."

Severus said, strong and calm voice,  
"Potter's biggest weakness is caring for other people, a certain person in fact.  
The caring is inside him, has been a long time, although he hasn't even known or recognized it himself.  
I do not know if he already knows it but he is going to find it out sooner or later.  
It was meant to be so.  
I do not know whether he will ever get to spend his life with that person or not.  
I only know for a certain fact that his life depends on this one person, who will determine whether Harry Potter will live a long colourful life or whether he's going to live his life grieving after the only person who could ever make him feel whole. I know it sounds absurd but that is the truth."

Draco frowned, "A person? How's that possible, I've never heard of anything like that. Is it a curse? Who is it?"

Severus answered, "The only person he really needs and whom he feels he cannot live without. A boy."

Draco gaped at him, "A boy? What boy? Why do you think this would help me? I might just get so jealous I ended up killing that boy and end up to Azkaban even before the Death Eaters catch me and kill me."

Severus raised his eyebrow, "Draco, who do you think that boy might be?"

Draco fell silent and clenched his jaw, "What?"

Severus was staring at him silently.

Draco was silent too, the silence suddenly burning his ears.

"What?" He asked again, insides flaming with wild fire and preparing himself for some ultimate misunderstanding and disappointment.

Then Severus said very slowly, letting the words drop from his mouth, "I think that this will change your view about the thing you said earlier, when you said Potter has merely a crush on you."

Draco shook his head, "No, Severus, no. Do not make me believe it's me. It can't be! You're lying."

Severus was quiet. Draco shook his head again and turned back to the window, saying,  
"No. That's not possible."

Harry was almost falling asleep when the door of the Room of Requirement suddenly came into view and opened. No-one came out though and he got up and looked inside, the room was empty. He backed up a bit and looked at the painting where Severus Snape suddenly walked into view and snapped,

"What are you waiting, Potter? Go after him!"

Harry looked around and then realised he had forgotten the possibility of Malfoy having the invisibility cloak. He started walking, then changed it into a run and kept running right up to their tent, shouting,  
"Malfoy?"

Then he saw it, it was almost invisible and it could barely be seen. A faint wall in front of both of the bathroom doors of the room.

He stepped right up to the wall and banged his fist in it. Then he shouted, "Malfoy! I need to see you!"

There was no answer and suddenly he was certain the boy was in the pool room and had blocked the ways in order to keep Harry away.

"No," He groaned and sat on the floor and banged his head on the barrier softly.  
"No, please don't do this to me."

He sat there, thinking. Unable to decide whether he should wait until the wall disappeared or whether he should go and get help.

He decided to wait.


	10. Frozen

Zinnia says: This is the last chapter and the story ends here although some questions remain unanswered after this. I have an additional chapter eleven written but I won't publish it. Check out my profile if you want information about what are my plans after this.

A big thanks for my new beta keria1123, who was kind enough to correct my errors on this chapter.

Chapter 10 Frozen

Harry waited and waited, for what felt like an eternity.  
Several times he was wondering whether he should simply go and find some help but he wanted to stay here and be the first one to see Malfoy whenever it was the wall would disappear.  
Because it would disappear eventually, he thought, it had to.

Finally the wall disappeared making Harry fall on the floor on his side because he had leaning on it. He quickly jumped up and ran into the pool room.

"Oh my God, Malfoy!"  
He breathed; his lungs got filled with sudden freezing coldness that made him cough before he threw his wand on the tiled floor and jumped head first into the water.  
The water was freezing cold, ice was forming on the surface and the temperature of the room was incredibly low.  
It was snowing from the sky like ceiling.  
The whole room seemed to wear the ice grey colour of Malfoy's eyes.

Draco Malfoy was floating, eyes closed, on some sort of a small ferry, which looked like it was made of soft, flexible plastic.  
It reminded Harry somewhat of some muggle toys he'd seen Dudley have.  
He reached the floating plastic thing quickly and regretted not staying out of the pool, he should've simply levitated Malfoy away from the water but it was too late for that now.

He grabbed Malfoy's wrist, the blond Slytherin had his arms wrapped around his waist, almost like in determination or almost like trying to warm himself up.  
"Malfoy!" Harry's voice was breathless.

"Malfoy!" The wrist was freezing cold in Harry's fingers.  
He concentrated and saw a small amount of white mist erupting from Malfoy's nose in the coldness_. He's breathing._

Harry grabbed the blond boy's arm and pulled with both hands until his whole body gave in and fell into the cold water.  
Harry wrapped an arm around his torso and swam furiously, dragging the boy along and with effort managed to get him out of the pool and on to the tiled floor.

He immediately grabbed his wand and levitated the unconscious Slytherin into their main room and gently lowered him on the couch.  
He lit the fireplace with a quick spell and then began stripping the boy manually out of his wet clothing.  
It took a while, Malfoy's skin was so cold it made Harry's fingers numb.

When Malfoy was finally stark naked, he stripped himself naked too and levitated the boy once more. Harry settled on the couch on his back and levitated the boy right on top of him.  
Malfoy's cold body was heavy on him when he ended the levitation spell just to begin it again to levitate his blanket from the bed and pulled it over them both.  
Then he threw his glasses and the wand to the floor.

Harry's teeth were chattering and he wrapped his arms around Malfoy.  
He knew he should get help. He should've taken Malfoy to hospital wing but he couldn't.  
The need to just hold him was just too overwhelming.

He looked at the blond head on his chest and then tilted the boy's head a bit to see his face.  
There were trails of frozen tears on the cheeks, now they were melting and Harry brushed them with his thumb:  
"I'm sorry. I'm so blind, I had no idea…"

The he surprised himself by starting to weep: "Draco, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He wrapped his arms tighter around the blond boy and hid his face in the cold blond hair and cried and couldn't stop. He bit his lip, trying to fight back the tears but his body was trembling with the desperate sobs.

He cried until he was emotionally drained and warm, the fire crackling in the fireplace was heating the skin on his cheek.  
Malfoy's body seemed warmer too and eventually he fell asleep while still stroking Malfoy's hair.

He knew he was dreaming. It was cold and the water was slowing his movements.  
"_Harry, help me_" Malfoy called him somewhere but the sun was setting and the water was too dark, no blond head anywhere, only the desperate voice calling for him.

He woke up startled and quickly recalled where he was.  
Malfoy was making small movements in his embrace and Harry heard his voice whispering,  
"No. No."  
Another nightmare, Harry tightened his hold of the boy and said, "Draco…"

Malfoy was making small whiny noises and his words were slurred, like it was difficult to speak, but still the words formed a small whispered sentence, "Help me."

"Draco!" Harry stroked the boy's back with his hands.

"Hhhha-" Malfoy's body gave a twitch and then he was all still and stiff.

"Draco…" Harry spoke quietly, assuming the boy had just woken up.

Malfoy took a loud breath and raised his head a bit to look at Harry.  
Then he blinked, grey eyes wide and asked with a hoarse voice:

"How did I end up here?"

Harry suddenly grinned out of relief but the tears were back, running down his face and he said,

"Don't ever try that again! Ever! Do you understand me?"

Draco stared at him in confusion, "What did I do this time?"

"You were bloody trying to freeze yourself to death! Half of your face was covered in ice by the time the wall spell broke and I got you out of that freezing pool!"

Harry wasn't mad but he had been so worried, it came out with loud voice, which probably wasn't a new tone to Malfoy anyway.

"What? I wasn't trying to freeze myself to death! Do you honestly think I would do something like that?"

Draco was frowning and Harry's cheeks felt hot, he was starting to get embarrassed,

"What were you doing then? You were unconscious when I reached you!"

Draco looked Harry deep in the eyes, apparently still confused about a crying Harry Potter,

"I wanted it to be cold, it felt good… it made me forget everything else."

Harry managed to roll his eyes before saying, "You could've died, you idiot."

Draco didn't say anything although Harry waited for a retort.  
He stared a long time before he finally whispered the exact words Harry had been waiting for but the tone was totally different. It was quiet and sad:

"What do you care, Potter?"

Harry stared right back for a moment before saying,  
"Draco Malfoy, that's a bloody stupid question and you know that. I do care. I care a lot. And you know it too."

They looked each other in the eyes in silence, finally Draco's lips curved a bit upwards.  
Then he said in a low, seductive voice, "I think Harry Potter has a crush on a Slytherin."

He licked Harry's chest with his tongue but Harry didn't let him get distracted, he took a hold of the boy's chin and forced him to look back in his eyes,

"I mean it. I do care."

Draco sighed and dropped his head on Harry's chest, relaxing, pressing his ear right on top of Harry's heart.

"Draco…" Harry said.

"What?" Came the mutter.

"The people who… the… shit I'm sorry to bring this up right now but I have to say this, alright?"

"Just say it, Potter."

Harry took a deep breath and said, "The people who… might've done something to your… father. If they ever try to come after you, I'll send them to Azkaban before they so much as take a look in your direction."

Draco got all tense and Harry tightened his grip, "Don't run away now, I need to say this.  
I'll do anything to keep you safe from them. I mean anything. "

Draco lifted his head to look at Harry and asked,  
"Do you know what you're saying? They might be after me for the rest of my life. What could you possibly to do stop that? I don't think you can protect me 24/7, plus you have no idea how many of them there are. Besides they're after you as well, so…"

Harry shrugged,  
"I had time to think while you were in the Room of Requirement. I'm not afraid of them. I'm not going to let them ruin my life and I'm going to do my best to get rid of them.  
The Ministry and the Aurors are willing to do anything I ask for nowadays. The Aurors have been trying to catch the Death Eaters ever since the war ended anyway. I've even had hopes maybe if we're lucky most of the bad guys will be in Azkaban before we graduate from here next spring."

Draco sighed, "I'm cold and tired. Can we continue this conversation later?"

Harry answered, "We could but you have a habit of avoiding talking and today proved me we should've been talking more."

Draco narrowed his eyes a bit, "You have no idea how much the war has changed me. I can hardly try to suddenly change into a talkative person just to please you, Potter."

Harry sighed, "Fine."

Then he closed his eyes in irritation. Draco settled back on his chest and took a deep breath.  
Harry was about to fall asleep when Draco whispered, "Potter."

"What?" He frowned a bit, not bothering to open his eyes. He was still a bit disappointed because trying to talk with Draco seemed to be extremely difficult.

"I'd like that." The boy was intently listening to Harry's heartbeats.

"You'd like what?" Harry asked.

"To uhm… To talk about the possibility of you sending Death Eaters to Azkaban if they ever came after me. There's one more thing you need to know though."

"Okay, what's that?"

Draco sighed and lifted his head to look at Harry who had to open his eyes to see the blond,

"I said that I've changed." Draco's expression was calm.

"Yeah? Go on." Harry encouraged.

Draco looked at the fire for a moment before shifting his gaze back into Harry's eyes,

"The changes in me… It's… they're huge."

Harry frowned a bit, "What do you mean? Tell me. Tell me everything."

Draco shook his head a bit, "No, Potter, you'd laugh at me, you'd –"

Harry lifted a finger on Draco's lips, "No, I wouldn't. I really want to know. And I won't laugh whatever it is. I promise."

Draco narrowed his eyes a bit and kept a meaningful pause before saying,  
"Quite soon after the war I noticed that something had happened to me. No, not a curse, don't look so frightened!"

Harry smiled a bit, trying to banish whatever worried face he must've made and Draco went on,

"One day I realised I was becoming paranoid.  
I had started to fear the most ordinary things, like going outside or…well, especially flying.  
Then the nightmares started and haven't stopped ever since.  
It's not a curse, I went to a Curse Tracer but he said it might be that… during the war, and before that, my life has been quite… stressful.  
Together with all the changes the war bought… well… apparently a piece of me went broken."

Harry kept looking him in the eyes but Malfoy turned his head away for a moment before turning back and saying, "Go on, start laughing. I can't even fly!"

Harry shook his head and brushed Draco's cheek with his thumb,  
"Why would you think I'd laugh, there's nothing funny about it. Tell me more."

Draco lifted his eyebrows just an inch before looking back at the fire, apparently embarrassed,

"One day during the summer, after the trials and after the nightmares had started, I was walking along one of our corridors upstairs in the evening.  
I suddenly started thinking someone might be following me.  
So I glanced over my shoulder and thought I saw something, a shadow following me.  
I got so scared I ran downstairs and yelled at my mother, saying there's someone behind be.  
She shook her head and when I turned around I realised it actually indeed was a shadow – it was my own shadow! Can you believe that?"

Draco started suddenly laughing. Harry frowned, "That's not funny."

Draco stopped laughing and grinned, "Yes, it is. That is funny, Potter. But you know what isn't?"

Harry merely raised his eyebrows and Draco said with a more serious voice,

"Ever since that shadow incident it got even worse. If I got frightened, and I did, a lot actually, then I suddenly started to panic and get rigid. The same way I did when we went to the Forbidden Forest... anyway, it's a long story and my point was: there are a lot of things I used to enjoy doing and which I can't even bare to think of doing anymore."

Harry absorbed Malfoy's facial features, he thought the boy was beautiful and almost felt like saying so. Malfoy simply stared back, apparently not minding Harry's gaze at all.

"I understand it's hard for you to tell about that stuff but you could've told me. From now on I need you to tell me about things. Do you hear me?"

Malfoy nodded.

"You promise?" Harry asked him.

"Alright. I do promise. Now it's your turn to tell me something." Malfoy's eyes seemed to glitter when the fire reflected from them. Harry suddenly felt a little more naked and became more aware of the fact they were naked under the blanket and he was getting hot.

"What do you want to know?" He asked.

"What's going on between you and me? What do you call this?" Malfoy's voice was low.

Harry stared him in the eyes and hoped he wasn't blushing, "Uhm… I've been meaning to ask about that too. I think… I have to tell you something. Don't freak out, okay?"

Malfoy muttered, "I won't, go ahead."

Harry said, "I have no idea how you feel about me but I'm willing to take the risk you crush me completely. I realize your life is complicated and you probably refuse my help if I offer it. All I want is to have you in my life. I… I need you. I honestly do. I can't explain it better than that. I need to have you with me. If you accept my help, I'll help you with everything. I just need you to tell me what you want and need from me and I'll do my best to give it to you."

Malfoy smiled suddenly and glanced at the fire before returning his gaze in Harry's eyes and asked,

"So you like me?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "I thought that at least was obvious. I just said a minute ago I do care. I meant I care for you, a lot. I need you."

They looked at each other a long time, Harry's heart was beating fast, and he was beginning to feel nervous when it took so long before Malfoy finally answered,

"Are you suggesting we would be lovers?"

Harry blinked, "I sort of thought we might be that already. But yes, I want that if that's what you want. Or… what do you want?"

Malfoy shrugged and gave a small mischievous smile,

"I never go out on dates, so don't ask me out. I've never been in a real relationship so I don't think you should hope for that either… not right now at least. You do realize I'm not a very easy person to be with, right?"

Harry nodded, "I like you the way you are. I'm not going to give up easily. And I hope you won't either."

Malfoy dropped his gaze and stared at Harry chest, then muttered,  
"And we wouldn't be with other people?"

Harry shook his head, "Of course we wouldn't. No, you are the only one I want to be with. I know it for a fact."

Malfoy looked up and said, "Alright."

Harry asked, "Alright? So we have a deal?"

Malfoy nodded and then gave a curt smile, "Yes. It's going to be difficult and extremely intense."

Harry smiled, "Yeah, and extremely interesting."

Draco smiled and suddenly dropped his head back on Harry's chest.  
Harry blinked and begged for his heart to slow down a bit as Draco wrapped an arm under Harry's back and stroked Harry's lower back.

"Your heart sounds good," Draco muttered just before he fell asleep.


End file.
